Only a minor coronary….

They say those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. So I learned from last year to call a week before my surgery to make sure we had approval from the insurance company. Last year when I had surgery we got insurance approval the day before my surgery, I was scared we were going to have to reschedule. For anyone with anxiety you can imagine what a basket case I was last year. So I learned from last year’s experience and I called the surgeon’s office yesterday. Well we didn’t have approval yesterday. I took a silent deep breath. She told me she would call tell them to push it to a higher priority make sure she had it and would call me as soon as she got it. Okay fine. So today when I didn’t hear from her I took matters into my own hands.

If I’ve learned anything from having an anxiety disorder its to be proactive when I can. Take the bull by its horns and not run from it like they crazy people do in Spain! Seriously who thought that was a good idea?? Let’s run in narrow streets from crazed bulls and see if we don’t DIE, sure sounds like a fun sport to me! Umm NO! Anyhow I call the insurance company and the woman tells me she can’t find any pre-authorizations for me for this year. I seriously think my heart stopped. My hands start shaking, my heart once it started beating was racing, I’m trying to stay calm and ask if maybe its under my wife’s name because my wife is the policy holder, so she checks and realizes she wasn’t looking under my name, so she checks under my name and finds the approval.

THANK YOU FOR TRYING TO KILL ME BEFORE SURGERY!!!

Seriously, don’t give someone who is about to have 2 spinal surgeries a coronary 6 days before surgery because trust me, if I have a heart attack tonight, I won’t need spinal surgery in 6 days! So I get the confirmation number and get off the phone as quickly as I can so I can scream bloody freaking murder at the phone. So this is pretty much how it goes after the insurance representative is safely OFF the phone.

Wife “I thought you were going to have a coronary when she said she couldn’t find anything for you for this year.”
Me “I ALMOST DID, I’M SHAKING. I was about to AT&T and touch someone, bet she wouldn’t even know what that meant. I miss that I’m getting so old people don’t know what that means any more, but AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T GIVE ME A CORONARY THIS CLOSE TO SPINAL SURGERY!!!!!!!!”

Wife “Do you feel better now?”

Me “Yes, actually the screaming helped, I don’t think I’m shaking as bad.”

Wife “Glad that helped” now she’s chuckling slightly, yup that’s how we roll, I go on some tangent and yell and scream about some random randomness and she makes sure I’m good and then she laughs and all the randomness that just happened. That’s why we make a good pair!

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