T minus 48

So I have 48 hours until I report for the next surgery and I can’t wait. I am soooooo ready for this next surgery. This morning my hips hurt, my legs hurt, my head hurts, etc. My whole body is sore this morning. I know part of that is that the weather has turned cooler, and I know part of this is I’m ready. I am physically and mentally ready for surgery. Will I be anxious in 48 hours? YUP, why? Because that’s what happens when you have an anxiety disorder. No matter how ready you are, the anxiety will try to creep in.

I know the surgery will go well. I know the recovery period will be worth it. I know that I will have to get up and move after surgery which won’t be fun because I will be sore, but I also know that getting up and moving after surgery is so important. Getting up and moving after surgery helps the healing process. When you have asthma it is even more important because you are at an increased risk for developing pneumonia and other upper respiratory infections. They give you that plastic thing to breathe into which sucks, but is necessary.

I have been mentally preparing for this surgery since we knew I needed it which was about 6 months ago, but we knew there was a possibility of surgery 9 months ago. The x-rays were showing the bone was not growing at the rate the doctor wanted and the writing was on the wall awhile ago as they say. As far as the spinal chord stimulator we actually talked about that prior to my first surgery as a possibility as a down the road, we’re not there yet, but it wouldn’t hurt to start researching it now. I’m glad I did. We did not come to the decision to have a spinal chord stimulator implant done lightly, we did a lot of research including reading the stories of people who it didn’t work for. It’s important to read the stories of the recalls, the people who it made it worse, etc. Why? Because you want to get a good overall picture. If you only read the success stories you only get one view, or one side of the story. I have friends who have the spinal chord stimulator. I also have friends who did the trial and it didn’t work. I talked to all of them. Got all their input. I did hours of research. I also took into account that I won’t be able to have an MRI because of the battery and the wires. I really looked at the pros and cons and made a decision with my wife.

Making the decision wasn’t just my decision, it was our decision because what affects my health also affects my wife. When I don’t feel well it affects her as well. So we looked at the research, we talked about what this meant for me now and what this meant for me in the long term, but we also talked about the financial costs for us as a family. I am so blessed that I have a partner who supports me and we make decisions as a couple.

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