Last day of freedom for a bit

So in 24 hours or so I’ll be running around like a crazy person getting everything ready to head to the hospital to FINALLY get this surgery. Today I’ll pack my overnight bag and make sure that I read all the instructions for today and tomorrow. I have to shower and use this special soap to wash any germs away, and then in the morning I repeat. I also have a list of which medications I can take tonight and which ones I take in the morning. Some I cannot take in the morning because of what they are, but some they want me taking. Luckily its all written out for me!

Today is going to be a day of getting stuff ready, any last minute details finalized but mostly just relaxing and trying not to stress. There are a million could have, should have and would have, but time is no longer on my side and I just have to release and let go at this point. My wife and I did get a lot done before today and we have been working on cleaning out the garage this summer to make the garage into a more usable space and while we have not gotten everything out that needs to come out of there, we made a lot of progress. Of course she did all the lifting and I did sorting. It was hard for me to accept my limitations, but it was also a good life lesson for me. Sometimes you have to stay on the sidelines and ask for help and not try to be superwoman.

Over the last two years I have really grown in this area of asking for help. I have also grown in the area of realizing when I am getting physically tired and allowing myself to rest. Before all this mess happened I was always pushing myself to go go go, and I still push myself harder than I should sometimes, but overall I am much better. I try not to get overly tired because I know that the muscle fatigue is just going to make me hurt more in the long run, which is not going to help me out at all and is just going to increase my pain which starts the cycle over again.

Yesterday I was walking in the store which I try to limit walking in stores, but it was a smaller store so I was walking and I started to notice that I was leaning to one side and I was getting sore, so I got the car keys and I went outside to sit and wait. I allow myself the right to tell people when I’m getting tired verses trying to be superhuman and push through.

So today I am going to make sure I have some comfy clothes for coming home in, and making sure dishes are all washed, stuff like that but besides that it’s going to be a rest up for tomorrow’s big day!


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