Monthly Archives: November 2015

Low battery

Thanksgiving was awesome, my back did not agree however. So I have been running my stimulator pretty much non-stop since then and my battery was running low this morning so I had to charge it since I forgot to last week. So I put up my normal “Charging my butt” FB status because who can’t use a good morning chuckle? I mean that is why I word it that way. The battery is located in my hip to be more accurate, but it’s funnier to make people think its a bit lower. So I sat for 90 minutes catching up on some shows and charging my battery. Usually it doesn’t take the full 90 minutes, but when its low it does.

So I’ve been trying to think of creative holiday presents and what I want to accomplish this year and what I have accomplished this past year outside of developing an impressive blood clot…which I wasn’t trying to it just sort of happened! I think sometimes we forget to sit and recharge our battery, with mine my stimulator stops working so I have to sit down and charge it or I go without, but our emotional battery gets run down and we can ignore it for awhile. We tell ourselves that we’ll rest once this or that gets done. I’ll take a break I just got to get through this event or that. I’ll do something for myself once I get through the holidays, but you can’t fill others up if you are constantly running on empty.

So if you need to recharge your battery make sure you do something for you today. It doesn’t have to be a long something it could be a short 5 minute something to give yourself a short charge. This holiday season don’t let yourself go on low battery for long because your emotional battery is important too!

Social Cues

My Dad’s birthday is this week so we went out and had lunch with him and it was lovely. I had a fantastic time eating lunch with everyone. We laughed we talked the kids made us laugh and we took some pictures. It was a good time. One of my Dad’s college buddies came, who is also my Godfather, yes I do mean my GODFATHER, so don’t mess with me! We got to catch up some and we had a lovely lunch. At the end of lunch my blood clot wanted to be a pain which really isn’t anything new so I was rubbed my chest a bit and being the wonderful Godfather that he is he asked if I was alright and I assured him that I was and am.

Of course that got me to thinking about social cues people make up to get themselves out of situations and how I could never do that because I talk with my hands too much and I am too forgetful and knowing me I would confuse I have to pee with I’m going to die. So I would be talking with someone and give the I’m going to die signal to Jenna who would be talking across the room and she would rush to my side ready to whisk me off to the ER and I would look at her dumbfounded and be like I just need to pee why do you have my coat? And she would smack her head and go you said you were dying!!!! I would look at my hands and go “My bad! But I really need to pee!! Where’s the bathroom again??”

Of course being the wonderful and loving wife that she is she would shake her head laugh at me, be very glad that I wasn’t dying and take me to the bathroom while telling me that I had just given her a heart attack. I would spend the rest of the night apologizing…or until I forgot and made the same faux pas because well let’s face it…it’s me!

We had a great meal, great company and we always love the family time. I am so blessed to have a family who loves us and we can spend time with and who live close enough that we can get together for birthday lunches. I am wiped out because it doesn’t take much excitement to wipe me out, but at least I had a great day and it was totally worth it! The restaurant we went to we have been going to for years, since my brother was a baby and he’s 20 now! Of course I want a nap, but it’s too late in the day for me to be napping no matter now tempting that seems!

When Darth can’t breathe…..

So I sleep with a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) machine which means the machine pushes air to maintain my airway so I don’t stop breathing during the night. Well around 6:30am we lost power which means the machine cut off. Now this does not mean that all the sudden I suffocate because I can still breathe because air still flows through the tubing it’s just not pressurized and there is a clicking sound when the pressure stops. Well as you can imagine this woke me up. So I go to take the mask off and just as I take the mask off the power comes back on! Hmmm….that was odd but we live on a dirt road so stranger things have happened and I now have two options, put the mask back on and turn the machine back on and go back to sleep or just get up not knowing what time it is, but judging from the daylight outside somewhere between 6am and 7am. So I chose to wake up. Sometimes it’s just easier to get up than to try and fall back asleep.

So I get on trusty Facebook because that’s where we all get our up to the minute news and find out there was a car accident in my neighborhood and that could be causing flickering lights and small power outages..YUP! BINGO! We have a winner! Okay, now that we got that figured out we have had a shower, made some coffee, taken meds, gotten dressed and had breakfast…can I go back to bed??

It takes a lot of energy to do the simplest of tasks these days and by the time I have my morning routine done I’m ready for bed again. Today is a very special day. We are celebrating my Daddy’s 60th birthday. I am Daddy’s little girl for sure! Of course I’m sure my sister would say the same thing! My Dad taught me to program computers and he and I share a lot of the same interests. He would read me sci-fi books when I was little like Douglas Adams, “Lord of the Rings,” and to round things off he would also read me things like “Shakespeare.” My parents wanted to make sure I had a well rounded education so while I do love technology and I also was in the band, drama and sang in the church choir growing up. I also took up Spanish and in college have one of my two undergraduate degrees in Modern Languages/Spanish. So I think they did well for making sure I dabbled in a bit of everything!

Why be normal?

We see the memes why be normal when you are meant to standout? I really do believe that normal is highly overrated unless you are talking about chronic pain. When you are talking about pain levels I want to be normal, I want to be pain free, in that realm I want normal. Outside of that I agree normal is overrated.

As children we spend a lot of time trying to fit in with our peer group which I had very little luck with because I found very few of my peers really understood me. As an adult I could careless if people like me, I find people who have similar interests as me and those are the ones I am friends with and talk with and interact with on a daily basis. As children we want to be friends with everyone, as an adult I understand that there are a lot of people I won’t see eye to eye with and that’s okay because I don’t have to be friends with everyone. My wife laughs that I have a rather long block list on my FB account and I told her that’s for my own serenity. I have learned that sometimes you just have to limit your own access.

I have a lot of hidden gifts and talents and some not so hidden gifts and talents. I have had a lot of adventures in my life, met a lot of interesting people because I have tried not to be normal. My wife had on her bucket list to go and hear the Dali Lama, so I got us tickets to go and hear the Dali Lama. We’ve gone and seen Margaret Cho. I’ve been hugged by Richard Simmons, and kissed by John Denver. I’ve lived an interesting life. I like to experience new things and met people and do different things.

I love to live life and now that I should be dead I’ve decided that I am definitely going to continue my why be normal and try and be as abnormal as possible and live life to the fullest because hey I have a giant blood clot and why not?

Alice’s Restaurant

“You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant.” So you see we had a great day yesterday, I am sore this morning and I am going to have to rest up. My back is sore which I knew it would be, my knees are popping but that’s more from the cold weather than anything else. We had soooo much delicious food! In our family we have a couple people who are Gluten Free, a vegetarian and everyone else so there were lots of choices when it came to what you wanted to eat. We even had a vegan turkey style gluten free gravy. Yup you read that correctly! Vegan gravy! You see what had happened was…I bought it the first time because I saw Turkey gluten free gravy somehow I skipped over the style when I read it, so I bring it home we make it. It tastes delicious, Jenna is reading the package and goes did you know this is vegan? I go wait what?? She goes yup! Vegan gravy. I go I did not I saw it was gluten free and turkey and wanted to try it!

So after we had our fill of turkey, ham, green bean casserole, lima beans, creamed spinach, macaroni and cheese, tamale pie, stuffing, sweet potatoes, corn pudding, deviled eggs, cranberry salad, and other items I am now forgetting my brother in law said he wanted a story. Well I tell him you are in luck because sitting beside me is a PROFESSIONAL storyteller! My father is in fact a professional storyteller (and a very good one!). So my father leans back in his chair a bit folds his hands over his belly and starts telling the tale of Alice’s Restaurant. Now if you have heard Arlo Gutrie’s song Alice’s Restaurant live you have heard the story that precedes it and yes ladies and gentlemen that is the story my father so carefully crafted for us.

The wonderful thing about my father and his storytelling is that he has it mastered. As he started out you felt like you were listening on the front porch of some country store down South, and he knows all the right points in his story to get very animated. When I was younger he would volunteer to come into my classes and tell historical stories about different things that actually happened. The teachers loved it because he really does know how to make it come alive and he has done all the research so all his stories are factual.

So he gets done with his story and everyone agreed that was a very good story to tell, and thanked him for his tale. Yesterday was a very good Thanksgiving. It was a long day, but I enjoyed it. We had lots of good family time, lots of laughs, and lots of good memories made!

Happy Turkey Day

Gobble Gobble! It’s that wonderful day of the year where everyone wears their fat pants so they can consume 4,000 calories in one meal! Yup it’s Thanksgiving Day!! WOOT! Make sure you wear that one pair of jeans that is really a size too big but no one ever notices so you don’t have to pass on the pumpkin pie!

In all seriousness…wait who am I trying to kid?? I have a big day planned to spend with family and I am excited! Can you tell? My body was so excited it woke me up an hour before it should have! YAY!….. I am really happy to be spending Thanksgiving with my in-laws and my parents. My Mother in-law is doing most of the cooking and she invited my parents and brother over and so we’re going to have a lovely day. My wife’s Grandmother will be there which will be awesome.

I’m really thankful I get to spend this Thanksgiving with family and not buried somewhere. I mean I’m sure Jesus can make a mean sweet potato pie, but I’d like to make a few more memories down here on Earth first. Plus I got to work on a few more jokes and a better routine before meeting him, I want to have a show stopper at my first audition with St. Peter. Can you imagine me at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter looking at me and me blowing my audition? He might not let me in!

This has been a hectic week for us, but I think all holiday weeks are just built like that, and then last night we were driving home and we got to the stop sign and I looked up at the full moon and it was just gorgeous. I said to Jenna how beautiful is that? It was so beautiful it took my breath away, and for the first time since this whole blood clot thing happened it really wasn’t the blood clot stealing my breath! It was so pretty and I thought to myself in all the crazy of this week this is what I needed this moment at this stop sign looking at the full moon and thinking how blessed I am! I am too blessed to be stressed out; tomorrow is Thanksgiving we are going to have a wonderful meal, good company and lots of laughs, because hey I’ll be there!


42 has always been an important number in my life growing up. So I want you to go here (don’t worry it will open in a new window) and copy the following text and then paste it in the search engine “the answer to the ultimate question of life the universe and everything” (just the stuff between the quotes)

Okay so see Google agrees with me.

So now that you have it on good authority….you are probably wondering why 42? Because! Deep Thought took 7.5 million years and spit out the number 42. Now what the question is no one knows for sure, but many have speculated that 42 is the answer to the life, or I usually say 42 is the meaning of life. Which we have slowly been seeing the charges posted to our insurance company for my hospital stay for my massive blood clot and it tickled me that the room charge for my time in the ER, ICU and the cardiac wing was $42,994.80. I told my wife that it’s because I lived. If I had died it might have been $43,000, but nope I lived so it couldn’t be more or less because 42 is the meaning of LIFE! She shook her head, but eh I’m used to it!

If you would like to do a more complete study as to why 42 is the meaning of life read “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” by Douglas Adams.

Wave the magic wand….

A forum that I was reading asked an interesting question… “If you could rid yourself of one chronic illness which one would you get rid of?” Many people posted I would get rid of this one or that one. Most chose the one that causes the others which makes sense. I read the question and I thought the back pain first and then I thought maybe the neurological issues, but then I thought well those are supposed to go away at some point so I don’t want to waste my magic wand so yes the back pain. Then I thought no maybe I need to get rid of the arthritis. The arthritis has been causing issues so maybe now that the back pain has a solution I need to get rid of the arthritis and the more I thought about the question the more I realized there was not an easy answer!

So then I decided maybe I could just save the magic wand and decide next year! I mean they didn’t say I had to decide NOW. I could wait see what shakes out and then think about what really annoys me the most and in the coming year make a decision. See most people given a magic wand could choose one illness to get rid of because they only have a few major health problems.

Last night I was on Facebook and saw this picture of a baby Chewbacca and the meme said that if heartburn during pregnancy meant the baby was going to have hair than they must be giving birth to a baby Chewbacca and I LAUGHED. I laughed so hard the cat got scared and ran away, like hid! I was laughing and laughing and Jenna looks at me because I’m laughing so hard tears are running down my face, I can barely breathe. She’s asking what I’m cackling over which of course makes me laugh all over again, and then I see the picture of baby Chewbacca and the baby bottle with the bite out of the bottom and I start laughing. So I finally put the laptop down show it to Jenna and say I thought of my sister! Which of course got Jenna laughing. My sister had terrible heartburn with her first pregnancy and my niece had a full head of hair when she was born.

The cat survived, she came back eventually, you would think she would be used to me laughing at this point. Every once in awhile I get to really laughing uncontrollably and she doesn’t like that. I find laughter is good medicine which is why I like to joke. I joke a lot. I joke about everything I possibly can because I can and I think it’s a gift that I should share. When I was in high school I took drama and the teacher was amazed at how well I did at improv but it’s because I like to be random and silly and I can think on my feet.

When I lived abroad….

Mom and I were talking about when I lived in Spain. Yup I lived in Spain for a semester when I was in college. I lived in France too, down in Martinique down in the Caribbean, it’s an island. It was AWESOME. Trust me black sandy beaches (yes they have black sand because of the volcano it’s GORGEOUS!). I have also traveled to Switzerland, Canada, the Grand Cayman’s and Mexico when I was in Girl Scouts. So I have done a bit of traveling, but why my semester in Spain came up recently was the attacks in Paris. One of the US causalities was a study abroad student from California State University. Mom said she remembered that she and Dad told me that no matter how much it cost if I didn’t feel safe in Spain they would pay for me to drop out and come home. I was studying in Spain in the Spring of 2003 and the United States went to war with Iraq. The war was not popular and there were anti-war protest in the city I was studying in and while my safety was never compromised we didn’t know that in the beginning.

I did finish my semester with all As and Bs. I had wonderful experiences and I would love to go back to Spain one day if I am physically able to, which with the back issues and now the blood clot being a world traveler is harder and harder. I am thankful for all the experiences that I have had and I told Mom that there was only one time that I almost got caught in a protest and that was only because I turned right instead of left when I was walking home from school. I turned around walked really quickly the opposite direction found a safe place to stop and find the closest bus stop and hopped the bus to get home.

The world can be a scary place, but I do believe we have to live our lives because one day we can wake up and be making our wife breakfast in bed and the next minute you are passed out on top of her almost dead from a blood clot. I mean it happened to me! It didn’t happen when I was half way around the world in another country almost swept up in an anti-US, anti-war protest, it happened in my bedroom, in my home. We can’t control when our death will come, it will happen when it will happen. Doesn’t mean we should put our life in danger and do stupid things like lite a firecracker in our hand and see what happens, etc but we do need to live.

T.S.I (Treat Sniffing Investigator)

We have a cat named Creme. She is 8 years old and she thinks she is my girlfriend. Seriously this cat LOVES me, more than my wife which is REALLY funny. As my wife puts it she’s the Mom, I’m the girlfriend! The cat has an odd temperament that is for sure. She is part Siamese we can tell, she was a stray so we’re not sure what breeds she might be besides the Siamese, possibly Calico from her coloring, other than that anyone’s guess is as good as ours!

So after Halloween I found this t-shirt that said Treat Sniffing Investigator and is meant for a dog because let’s be real cats don’t let you put cute t-shirts on them…well most cats! Creme has learned to let me put the shirt on her, takes some pictures giggle and tell her how cute she is as she gives me this I would plot your death look, but then I would lose the love of my life so I guess I’ll just sit here and take it….Then I take my pictures, take off the shirt and give her a handful of treats which she eats and pretends to scowl at me, and usually in about 5 minutes comes over for petting. Yup, she knows how to play the game!

Now the wife shakes her head at the whole game because she can’t believe that Creme actually allows this to happen because if she would even come within about 5 feet of her with a shirt Creme would run. I do it and Creme just sits there, like I know this is going to happen one way or another so the faster we can get this over with the better. The other thing that happened this morning is that wife was trying to help me with putting on the shirt and Creme tried to bite her, but me she didn’t even bat at me. She did not like this game because obviously the rules are different for her.

So I got the shirt on, got my pictures, got my giggles told Creme what a pretty kitty she was to which I got the usual death stares. Which of course made me giggle more because I knew she was secretly plotting my death and that somehow amuses me. Then we took it off her gave her a few more treats and I put the shirt away.

It’s the little things in life that bring me joy!