Monthly Archives: December 2015

Goodbye 2015

So everyone has been posting pictures of the jars with the pieces of paper saying for 2016 keep a jar and when good things happen write them down and stick them in the jar and then on New Year’s Eve open the jar and read all the good memories. Well….I tried this for 2015 I started writing down the good stuff and then I lost the jar. No clue what happened to it. I’m sure its around here somewhere, my guess is it got put in the garage only because I haven’t seen it! That’s my answer for everything it’s in the garage! haha Not really but it sounds good right? So looking back on 2015 I just want to say it was not all bad. Sure I had some really bad health things happen *coSaddlePulmonaryEmbolismugh* but we had some really good things happen so I want to list some of the good things. I don’t want you to think that everything was bad this year. I don’t want you to think I hated 2015 because that is not true. It had some bumps in the road but it wasn’t all bad.

  • Nephew was born!
  • Wife got a couple of promotions at work!!
  • Got a couple debits paid off
  • Sold my car (okay so this one was bittersweet)
  • Had Christmas with our family at our house this year
  • Mom bought me Purple Canning Jars for my Birthday
  • I did well on my March Maddness Bracket
  • I got my Spinal cord stimulator implant!!!! (Yes this was a positive)
  • I lost 50lbs this year
  • Wife was in 2 art shows
  • Wife started selling her prints online and sold at a couple craft shows

I know there were a lot more things, but that just gives you a taste that things were good this year. I want to do the jar again this year, but I am going to make a better effort at not losing the jar! I do think it is really important to count your blessings. I joke about my health and almost dying and people think I’m weird, but funny. I know I’m weird. I accept my weirdness. I am so blessed this year it was a very emotionally year for us but we are still standing. Tonight we are planning on a quiet evening because that’s what we need. My chest is still hurting my oxygen stats are all over the board they are between 96%-99% when I am sitting on the couch but they will drop down to 85% so I know something is going on, but I can’t put my finger on it. I have a feeling something is off but I just don’t know what and when I can’t describe what is off it’s hard for a doctor to help. Wifey was watching last night when it dropped down to 85% and then jumped back up and she goes do you feel different when it does that? And I go not really, my chest hurts and between my chest hurting and my back hurting that’s all I’m registering right now. So we’re monitoring closely and ringing in the new year at home and counting all our blessings. We are too blessed to be stressed right? That’s how the saying goes at least.

Married with Ring!

I had posted about how I had asked for a new wedding ring for Christmas. Well my beautiful wife got me my ring! 20151230_105808.jpg

I am very happy that I have a ring that fits again, because my finger felt very naked! I mean once you get used to wearing a wedding ring for 2 years and then you take it off it just feels WEIRD! So now we are back in business and hopefully I don’t get chased by the men in the electric carts in Wegman’s, but hey you never know I am pretty cute and a redhead…

About 2% of the world’s population has red hair but apparently in the US the numbers are higher and the estimations are anywhere between 2-6% of the population has red hair. I think its rather fascinating personally. I love my red hair and freckles. One time we went to get family pictures taken and the photographer offered to airbrush out my freckles and my Mom was like WHY would I want that? Do you not understand that my daughter is a natural redhead and that is part of who she is? I can’t even imagine what I would look like with no freckles I mean REALLY! How absurd!

I will say that in Spain my host Mom also had red hair and freckles so we did look like we belonged together which was funny. I did not care for her we clashed personality wise, but eh you can’t win them all. She did a great job of cooking (when it wasn’t fish…yuck!) I really could use some pallea…yummy! I loved going and eating tapas and talking for hours with my friends. Walking in the parks and watching the football (soccer) games. Hanging out with Christopher and Sandra. We had a lot of good times, lots of laughs.

Wifey and I were discussing that we have not known each other for a really long time, we first met 4 years ago, and we’ve been married for 2, but it is hard for me to remember a time when she wasn’t part of my life. I know there was a long time she wasn’t part of my life, I had adventures without her, and I look at pictures and she’s not in them, but it’s hard to remember those times. I am so happy to be married and be with her and have her in my life. She is my completion. This crazy medical ride I have been on for the last 2 years has been made easier having her there to hold my hand when things get rough. Knowing that she will be there in recovery when I wake up, having her sit in ICU with me, etc so yes I am happy I have a new wedding ring because it makes me happy, I’m happy that I am married to the wifey because she brings me joy. I bring her laughter and silliness and LOTS of head shakes! She shakes her head a lot when I’m around but she laughs and smiles. I am goofy and I know I am.

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I would just like to say 2015 tried to KILL ME! LOL I have it on good authority in fact, 3 doctors told me. I would just like to say 2015-0 Jenn-1! HA! I mean I won I’m still ALIVE! I will be glad to start a new year and put the craziness of 2015 behind us. I mean Good Lord! I like a good tale, I like good comedy material, but I got more than I can use right now! I got my INR checked and I was laughing and carrying on and the pharmacist told me to stop laughing because it’s contagious, I told him its good medicine and that got him laughing again. So if you agree that 2015 was out to get you raise your hand, laugh a bit and then move on because 2016 will be here before you know it!

Keep your sickness, I’m good

Ahhh it’s that time of year where Mother Nature is bipolar and the temperatures outside have gone from 70s to today the high will be 54. Yeah, fun times or as I like to call it pneumonia weather! Yesterday my chest was bothering me which I have been told is normal. Today my chest is hurting me, which I am wondering because of the wet crazy weather we are having if I am coming down with pneumonia again. So when I was in ICU the nurse asked me about if I had gotten a flu shot, no, do you want one no. Did you get a pneumonia shot? No and I apparently have pneumonia…do you want a pneumonia shot? I think its a little late for that one! So I take that as a no too then…YES! That would be a no, then I start laughing and then it hurt and I regretted laughing, of course I was on oxygen at the time and that helped, but it still hurt.

So on Christmas my brother in law was sick he had a cold, then yesterday I was holding the nephew who was cranky and had a fever but we’re pretty sure he’s just teething. I think I need a shirt that says “Keep your sickness, I’m good!” I know it’s that time of year, and trust me I would have held the nephew just like I did yesterday and cuddled him because that’s what he needed. I used to do the same thing when I worked daycare and even when I taught I would comfort kids when they are sick because that’s what you do. Of course when I taught if they had a fever they went to the nurse, but during allergy season the kids feel bad but they can come to school they just sneeze a lot.

I just keep washing my hands and hope that I don’t get pneumonia again, once was enough thank you very much. I also get bronchitis a lot so we watch out for that too, being asthmatic my lungs don’t like to breathe and now that I have a blood clot trying to help slow them down…. All is well. It’s almost the end of 2015, 2016 will be here before we all know it and I am excited about the fresh start. New year new goals, new adventures. New life lessons right?

Perspective

It’s all in your perspective. I saw this meme this morning on Facebook that said an “Some people see a glass as half empty, some people see a glass as half full but enlightened people realize the glass is refillable.” It’s all about your perspective on things. If I set an object on a table and one person is sitting down and one person is standing and I tell them to draw the object I will get two different drawings of the same object why? Because the two people are looking at the same object but from two different angles.

This year I lost just over 50lbs, which my goal was 60lbs. So I can either be upset that I did not reach my goal or I can be pleased that I lost 50lbs this year. It’s all about my perspective on my journey. Sure I can be upset about that I was close to my goal but didn’t make it, but the end of the year didn’t go as I had planned it either! I mean that blood clot slowed me WAAY down! I thought I was going to be doing physical therapy these last couple of months and had I been doing physical therapy I know I would have hit my 60lbs lost. However I am grateful to be alive and I am happy with my 50lbs lost.

Over Christmas I ate what I wanted and then after Christmas I got on the scale and thought yup, I ate what I wanted, I wasn’t drinking my water the way I normally do and it shows! So I am being mindful of drinking my water and walking what I can. I really have learned these last 2 months that listening to my body and honoring my limitations is so important. I also learned that changing my perspective helps when I get frustrated with everything I “can’t do” I start thinking of everything I can do, or things that are improving. Sometimes an artist will stand or move to change their view so they can finish their drawing, change their perspective, well guess what in life we need to do that more often. Sometimes fresh air and a change in perspective does wonders!

Dueling Pair

When you have nerve pain there are some nerve pains that are constants. Some are randoms, and some are just down right annoying…wait they are all annoying….So there is this one spot right above my right knee that we call Ole Faithful because it has NEVER GONE AWAY. Other nerve pain spots will come and go, but Ole Faithful is always there is bug the snot out of me! There would be plenty of times I would smack the area and people would just look at me and I would smile sweetly and go don’t worry my thigh is numb. Which of course then I would get puzzled looks because if my thigh is numb then why am I smacking it….Well that is a really good question that we haven’t quite figured out yet, have I mentioned I am a bit of an enigma? So I have this nerve pain patch that is right above my knee on the right thigh that is numb any other time. Yes the area is numb unless I am having painful and I mean PAINFUL nerve pain. So why there? I have plenty of other leg retail space available, but the nerves right there like to bug the snot out of me.

So on my thigh that is numb I will get the more horrible nerve pain. This morning I woke up with it…it’s going to be a long day. Oh yeah did I mention I am on blood thinners now and so any smacking/hitting/etc is out of the question now? Yeah…. so because with the blood thinners I could bruise easier, which doesn’t seem to be happening to me, but to most patients it does (remember I am an enigma…) I am not to smack my leg to get rid of the pain. So I took my nerve pain medicine like I do every morning (I take a second dose in the evenings), I put pain cream on my knees and a bit on the patch per the doctor’s instructions for days like today and I PRAY. I pray that it doesn’t drive me to insanity.

It’s rainy, yucky weather outside which means my asthma is acting up, my arthritis doesn’t want to play nice and my blood clot is reminding me it’s still around, BUT I have to go to the clinic to get my INR checked so I will be venturing out today. It will be a good day. I just have to remember to take things nice and slow. One thing I have learned through this whole ordeal is to take things slower. It’s okay to say slow down, its okay to walk slower, it’s okay to say I’ll catch up. I don’t have to push myself to the point of exhaustion, it’s about self care and the balance of life.

Sock Monster

I have a basket of socks..single socks, they need a mate. I think I might have to sign them all up for some sort of e-harmony for socks. Do they even do that? I mean could you imagine the profiles for single socks? Hi I’m looking for my soul mate. I’m 100% cotton ankle sock. I am purple with thin black stripes are you my match?

I did make quite a few matches today and put them in the correct bin. My wife has a bin for her socks, and I have a bin for my socks. I matched socks as long as I could and then I put them aside. My wife was happy that her bin looked a lot fuller when she got home from work. During the summer she wears flip flops the majority of the time, but now that we are actually getting colder weather that requires socks, she will need her socks to be matched.

She was working on a drawing of the sock monster that lives in the dryer because we all know there is one, I saw a meme about that the sock monster takes the socks and turns them into extra tupperwear lids which might be a serious possibility….

But for now I have  my basket of socks which I will work on some more tomorrow, and know that I will get them matched up but unfortunately I will have to do it the old fashioned way of just looking for the mate. No e-harmony for socks for me. Just good ole search and rescue! 20151228_220910

Yodeling….at 1am….

Because between my wife and I get SOOO MUCH SLEEP….*insert heavy sarcasm* At 1am this morning we hear yodeling. Yes you read that correctly yodeling now wait for it…wait for it from a pickle. Yes a pickle.

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This is the offending pickle. So at 1am my wife wakes me up and goes where is the pickle??!!! Thinking it had fallen off the dresser. So I lift my head up and look over on the dresser and it’s still sitting right where it was when we went to bed. So I say to her through the CPAP mask, it’s still safely on the dresser, she shakes her head, turns the light back off and we go back to sleep.

Now how many people can say they woke up because of a pickle? And of those people how many people can say their pickle was yodeling? I mean really? The pickle was part of her Christmas gift exchange at work and I’m thinking she is regretting it. I still think its hilarious and I’ll put up with a little yodeling, but I’m thinking that the pickle is going to be finding a new home outside the bedroom tonight. No offense yodeling pickle but 1am is not when I want to hear the yodels of your people!

H2O

I have betrayed the cat. I have betrayed the cat because I gave her a flea bath today. It was like 75 today so it was plenty warm and she needed one, so I dunked her LOL, actually I used the kitchen sink because a) its higher and b) I can use the sprayer. So I gave the kitty meow meow a bath and she DID NOT LIKE IT ONE BIT!! So we got her clean, dried her off the best we could then we gave her more treats than we should have and she went to lay in her favorite chair to sulk! Oh well kitty, you are clean.

This evening she came and jumped up beside me so I would give her pets which means she loves me, but Jenna went to talk to her and she gave her the evil eye hahaha. That’s where it is so funny. I gave her the bath, but because it was Jenna’s idea to give her a flea bath Creme is mad at Jenna.

Edema or something else?

So if you are just joining us short version of a very long one is in October I was almost killed by a saddle pulmonary embolism which is the mother of all blood clots. It was massive, like 3 doctors told me I should be dead and were rather impressed I was alive, and a saddle pulmonary embolism sits on both sides of your lung see the video here. So now I have to go in weekly to have my INR checked to make sure my blood is thin enough to break up the blood clot, and prevent new ones from forming. On top of this lovely task I also have to watch to see if I see any signs of new ones forming. Now I would like to step out for a moment and say that I didn’t have any symptoms of the first one until it tried to KILL me! The second part of this is I have edema which is swelling in both legs and have lived with this since I was 18 years old, I am on 2 water pills to try and control this, but when you already have swelling in both legs it just makes looking for a blood clot a little harder….just saying.

So to add to this, my right thigh is numb and my right knee has been popping/swelling, so last night the area around my knee was swollen, but the rest of my leg was normal. I told my wife that my leg just looked weird! If I wasn’t always looking and comparing them I probably wouldn’t have noticed as much, but since I have to keep a look out for swelling, bruising, heat, etc I noticed this uneven swelling pattern. Of course because my knee has been popping pretty much every time I stand up I think we can safely assume it is due to the issue in my knee.

Of course you know what they say about assuming…..

Christmas was wonderful we spent time with both sides of the family and extended family. On Christmas Eve we went over to my Brother in Law’s Boyfriend’s parents’ house. (Say that 3 times fast!)  We opened gifts on my wife’s side of the family there and ate a huge feast! The food was SOOOOO good!!! We talked, we laughed, we just had a really good time!

Then Christmas Day my family came over to our house and we opened presents with the niece and the nephew who he was starting to get the hang of ripping the paper off! Next year I know he’ll be ready! The niece LOVES the movie “Frozen” so there were a lot of “Frozen” related gifts for her. I got my new wedding ring, I had lost so much weight my ring size dropped by 2 sizes. I got my wife a Chelsea Football Club (Soccer team from England) Polo Shirt she can wear to work and she is SOOO excited! Apparently there are a few Chelsea fans on her floor who will be jealous of her present. I was just proud of myself that I did not spill the beans because I was so excited about the purchase and I tend to get really excited about things and then tell! Mom and Dad also got each of us a piece of pottery from a local potter both pieces are beautiful. They really like to support local businesses and Artisans which I think is awesome. So then we went to Grammie’s house (Jenna’s Grandmother) for dinner and had more good food and conversation. It was great, but I was SOOOO sore by the time we got home. So yesterday I spent almost the entire day on the couch with my feet up.

Today I have a feeling that I’ll spend the day the same way because my body has to rest, thankfully Christmas is only once a year!

Too tired to move

Is it Friday..wait I mean Saturday yet? Not quite you say…oh okay just have to wait a little longer..okay…I’ll try to hang in a bit longer. I am E.X.H.A.U.S.T.E.D. I mean I think every hair on my head hurts at this point. I have muscles that hurt that I didn’t realize I had, or used, but I used them this week. Between the 3 doctors appointments, then getting last minutes preparations for Christmas, and then Christmas itself I am ready to hibernate for winter! Which speaking of winter it was like 75 degrees today…yeah…not really thinking of snow this year! It did rain however. We did put the yule log on Netflix because that is a tradition. Of course with having the TV mounted on the wall it gave a much different effect than in years past….

Christmas was good. I enjoyed all the family time with both sides of the family, I am just exhausted right now. I hurt so bad from the sitting, traveling, cooking, etc. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love spending the time with family. I told Mom that everyone kept asking me what I wanted for Christmas and usually I don’t have trouble coming up with a list of items. Since I became an adult usually the items are things I need, but I usually can come up with a list of thing, but this year I was really having a difficult time. I was having such a difficult time because I am so grateful just to be alive to celebrate Christmas with my wife and family. I was so sick with this blood clot and I was so close to death that this Christmas really wasn’t about the material items for me (not that it ever really has been, it’s always been about Christ), but it was about being with the people I love.

So make sure that you tell your family you love them. Tell the people you value in your life how much you care about them. Life can change in the blink of an eye, think about all those shepards who were keeping watch over their flocks and all the sudden an Angel shows up and says “Fear Not!” Then tells them a baby was born who was the son of God in a manger in a stable and to go see the baby. Think of how their life changed in the blink of an eye. You never know when your life will change for the good the bad or the ugly. Live your life like it was your last day because it just might be.