Sunrise…sunset

This morning from the kitchen window as I drink my liquid gold…err coffee I can see the sunrise. The advantage of living in the trees is watching the red, yellow and orange sunbeams bounce magically off the trees as the sun begins her majestic rise in the East. I sit here with my warm coffee cup pressed against my chest so I can feel the warmth. The one thing that I will not miss once this blood clot is GONE is how cold it makes my chest.

So I’m standing trying to get a piece of morning zen trying to just enjoy life and here comes Creme rubbing on my leg singing me the song of her people. Where’s my food MOM?? I’m HUNGRY MOM! I’M STARVING MOM!! So I walk over to her bowl, there is still PLENTY of food in her bowl, you know what’s wrong? You can see the bottom of the bowl now..so being the good “Mom” that I am I shook it a little to cover the bottom and I looked back at her, see now you aren’t starving to death. This might be why she is secretly..not so secretly plotting my demise….This also might be why she and the rabbit are now in cahoots.

I have found since my near death experience I do take the time to just enjoy the sunrise more. I mean sure I would look at it previously but now I will actually stop and watch it. I think I have a better appreciation for it now. I think so often we are in such a rush to move on to the next thing that we forget to slow down, and I know that I often try to zip to the next thing and slowing down has not been easy. I have definitely learned to slow down with this blood clot.

If I had one piece of advice for anyone it would be to slow down once in awhile and just enjoy the sunrise or sunset. Just stop and watch it. Take a deep breath (or as deep as you can in my circumstance) and be present in the moment. We never know how many we will get. Trust me that morning in October I woke up feeling great actually. I was really wondering why in the world the doctor thought I had pneumonia, questioning the diagnosis, my world got flipped upside down real quick. Last night I was looking at wheelchairs online because walking in the big stores is killing my back, hips, legs, ankles, etc. Often especially on Saturdays the store use ones are gone or not charged, and I am seriously considering getting one for us to use for errands. The issue is ALL of them are too heavy for me to manipulate. I would have to have someone else lift it into the car, which since I don’t drive I always do, but I was surprised at how heavy they are. Now I used to take my friend places and I would put her wheelchair in my car so I have lifted on into a vehicle, but I guess I never thought about the weight of one before now. When you cannot lift over a certain weight you start thinking about stuff like that. There are a lot of things like that, before my back surgeries and the blood clot I wouldn’t have thought about/considered and now I think about it before I do something.

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