I have to meet a new doctor today and you would think by now with all the new doctors I have met over the last 2 years I would be used to it, but yeah not so much! I don’t like disruptions in my routine. People laugh about that I LOVED teaching Kindergarten and I really do try to go with the flow but inside I’m all like AHHHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!!!! I like routine, I like order I like organized chaos. Which I know sounds like an oxymoronic statement but people who understand what organized chaos truly is will understand what I mean. I can handle when things are chaotic but when its organized chaos. I worked in a couple different daycare settings before my back issues, I’ve worked for a couple big box retailers, I’ve worked at an amusement park one summer (let’s not repeat that mistake…) and I taught. I loved teaching and often outsiders didn’t understand this concept of organized chaos because they had never seen it before. To an outsider it looked like chaos. The traditional person feels like children should sit at a table or a desk and do worksheets all day, I had the kids on the floor at tables, at desks all over the room, the noise level was higher than the average room, but the kids learned for themselves. Organized chaos, however my principal and I rarely saw eye to eye and I gave up trying in the end and resigned. I went to a big box store while I continued to work on my higher education goals.
So today I go see a new doctor and I don’t want to. I think of Sheldon from “Big Bang” and I laugh because I can hear him say “But I don’t want to go.” That pretty much sums up how I feel on the inside, I am however going because I need a new perspective. I am hoping this doctor brings a new perspective on what has been happening, sheds a new light. Now the fun part when meeting a new doctor is trying to cram the last 2 years of medical history in a 30 minute appointment and trying to say as linear as possible. Which is not as easy as it may sound. I’ve gotten better with time at the linear part but often its a lot of information to digest for the doctor especially now with the last 3.5 months which includes a saddle pulmonary embolism that tried to kill me. That and I am really blunt.
I am a really direct person which was no so fun (okay maybe a little fun) when I worked at the big box store and I had this particular manager who just didn’t know how to manage me because I was so direct. Everyone else would come up to him and beat around the bush on what they needed and I would walk up tell him exactly what I needed and then I would just look at him. I often got the deer caught in headlights look back. I would just stand there looking at him waiting for a response and he would just look at me sometimes his mouth would hang open just a bit. One time it was jaw open wide and I said close your mouth figure out your answer and give it to me and another manager was standing there and they started laughing at him. I try and keep in mind that I am a really blunt/direct person especially when talking to adults, I am totally different working with kids. I think its because I have totally different expectations when working with adults.
So we will go and meet this new doctor get their take on what is going on, see what their recommendations are and go from there. I am going on go with an open mind because I made this appointment begrudgingly, but I made it to get a new perspective because I think I need a new perspective, 2nd opinion. Then I get my INR checked today to see how that is. Then we can go back to our regularly scheduled programming.