Chill pill needed

This is the major issue for me with the fibromyalgia (besides never remembering how to spell the word fibromyalgia and having to look it up). Something always seems to hurt on top of my normal back pain. Today its my shoulders that are hurting and then I am having leg pain. Well I keep watching my legs for signs of blood clots because with having the lung infection it is important. There is this fine balance of being proactive/watchful and crazy. I am trying to stay on the proactive/watchful and not jump the cliff into crazytown. It’s hard after almost dying from a blood clot. I have been in the higher risk category for developing blood clots for years, and I knew the symptoms but when I had the symptoms of a Pulmonary Embolism I didn’t realize it, why? Because I thought I was having an asthma attack. So I went to the emergency room because I knew something was wrong and I get told that I had pneumonia which I thought was weird because I did not have a fever, I had not felt sick until that morning, but I believed the doctor. I believed him because I have not gone to medical school. The next morning I pass out I go to the hospital by ambulance I’m being told I should be dead. So you can see why I am trying not to take the short jump to crazytown right now.

I had a DVT which is harder to detect because it’s deep vein. Which to be honest I was glad it was a Deep Vein Thrombosis.  If you want to learn more you can read about them at the Mayo Clinic’s website found here. I was happy because sometimes there are no symptoms and I felt like I hadn’t let myself down somehow. I wasn’t to blame for missing some sign of a blood clot.

There is so much nerve damage to my system that I get screwed up signals all the time, it’s hard for my brain to distinguish what is real, what isn’t. I get nerve pain a lot, I get leg spasms, it’s hard to diagnose me I get that, but then it’s also hard for me sometimes to sort out what’s normal from the abnormal. When do I make that jump from this is just normal pain to abnormal pain? It’s a battle I think a lot of chronic pain suffers have because you get so used to the pain you really forget what normal feels like. You forget what pain free feels like.

I laugh every time someone jokes about go pee for me. We always ask someone to go to the bathroom for us so we don’t have to stop whatever we are doing and in the winter I think we ask more often because we are cozy in bed, or we are cozy on the couch and we don’t want to be cold. We are under the blanket watching Netflix or TV and to get up means being cold. Stopping what we are doing to pee. I mean really? Who has time for that? Then the jokes about hoses and funnels start and you all laugh and then you realize that laughing about peeing probably wasn’t a smart thing to do because now you have to pee more. So you begrudgingly get up, pull that nice cozy blanket off of you and now you are cold. UGH! Once the cold air hits you, you hope you can make it to the bathroom before you pee yourself. This is why you dislike winter you remind yourself.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s