Sleep perhaps to dream

I’ve been having these really weird dreams here recently. Not quite sure what to make of them. Last time I checked antibiotics don’t give you vivid dreams, and that’s the only change in medication here recently. Last night I was dreaming about this breastfeeding banner that everyone was proud of because it showed bare ARMS!! Yes I said arms, not breasts. It was weird because I couldn’t figure out why everyone was excited that the mother had bare arms. Somewhere in the shuffle between one event and the next the banner got misplaced and I spent most of the dream helping chase the banner down. Which was funny because I kept thinking to myself why don’t we just reprint the banner? But we had to find this particular banner so I spent the whole dream going to all the different mothers’ houses asking if they had accidentally taken the banner home or if they knew who did.

I’ve never been one to dream a whole lot, usually dreams are a result of whatever medication the doctors have me on for short term use. I remember one time I was on a medication for the first time and I got such vivid dreams that I went back to the doctor in a week and was like yeah NO! Doctor said what’s wrong and I said I feel like I’m tripping on acid in my dreams! Doctor said I thought you said you’ve never taken drugs and I go I never have dropped acid but after a week on this drug I’m pretty sure I know what it would feel like!!! So we weaned me back off of that drug and tried something different.

I have had sleep issues for years now and so I’ve even done those super awesome sleep studies were you go to the fake hotel looking rooms that really have a camera where the technicians watch you sleep. They hook you up to all these wires, you get all this goop in your hair and they tell you to sleep. So once you fall asleep in this really unnatural setting they watch your brain activity and see if you stop breathing, etc. Once your doctor gets the report they call you back in and go over what they found out. I learned all about the sleep I wasn’t getting at night. Learned about my options to try and fix it, which for me was a CPAP machine. I’m still having issues with hypersomnia (daytime sleepiness) so once this blood clot clears up I get to try again at a sleep study to see if we can figure out what else is going on.

The biggest drag right now is that the blood clot is ruling my life in a lot of ways I really dislike. I want my life to go back to what I view as normal, but I cannot yet because I have a huge blood clot. I get that I know my body needs to finish dissolving it, I get that. In the meanwhile I have to wait and waiting is not my strong suit, I am impatient, impulsive, and restless. I am not good at sitting still and someone said this was God’s way of teaching me to slow down and I said I know I’m a slow learner but I think this was a bit on the extreme side, but then I realized God could hear me, so I APOLOGIZED! I’ve learned over the years never pray for patience because God answers prayers but not always in the way you expect!

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