I used to LOVE snow, I used to want to go live in Colorado in the mountains where it would snow LOTS, now not so much! I think snow falling is still really pretty don’t get me wrong. I could sit by the window with a cup of warm coffee or warm hot cocoa and watch it fall it’s magical, but as soon as I have to go anywhere in that snow I start to dislike it. I think fear has overcome me now that my back is fragile, my knees are fragile and I have come to realize that one slip could cost me months of recovery time. I live in this world where one wrong step can set me back months. Even walking gingerly I am scared of snow and ice.
I don’t mind snow if I can stay at home and just watch it from the window, but as soon as I have to be out in it, I hate it. I don’t like it anymore its lost all appeal. I want to spray it all with warm water to make it melt! I sound like the Grinch I’m sure! I think anyone who has joint issues will understand. I also have higher pain days when its bitterly cold, so that does not help my battle with snow and ice. Yesterday we got some flurries, but it had been warm enough that it didn’t really stick. So I got to watch it come down, it was pretty, but it did not cause disruption to my life so all was well!
I am sitting here thinking about what I want this year to be, what sorts of goals I want to reach and I’m not sure yet besides getting healthy. Of course sitting here my knee hurts, my stomach is upset and my chest hurts so that could be why most of the goals I can think of are health related! I just want to have a better year health wise. I mean it’s got to be better this year. I don’t want a repeat of last year. I’m just going to keep taking life one day at a time and work on what I can work on.
I’m working on continuing to lose weight which I know will be good for my knee issues and my overall health. I am going to continue to follow all the stuff for the blood clot which hopefully we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel on that. Going to be back in physical therapy in a few months hopefully to work on strengthening my core muscles to help protect my back and then we’ll go from there. One step at a time, one day at a time. I am also going to talk to the doctor about doing some more extensive blood work on me because I think we’re missing something, not sure what that something is, but something isn’t right still. Hopefully we can find that piece of the puzzle and keep on trucking. I just want to get everything figured out. Be more proactive.