High pain + Disappointment

So I have been quiet at least on here, I am in a high pain period. I am trying to get stuff done before my surgery which means a lot of doctor appointments. Everyone has to sign off that I am cleared to have surgery. Lots of boxes to be checked. I am also finding that my arms are going numb a lot more often which is frustrating, but then I also have validation that I need the surgery. I know the time is right.

Today I have pain from the base of my skull down the right side. The nerve must be slightly pinched. I keep rubbing it gently hoping it will feel better. I got the packet about the upcoming surgery and it says you can’t take over the counter pain killers for 3 months or until your fusion is complete which brings me to my disappointment…

So I got x-rays done a couple weeks ago on my back. The last set were done in January and it showed that my back was still not fused, but there was some signs of fusion just not a lot. I just got the x-ray report and it says there has been no change since January. Which is a huge disappointment because we really thought that with the hardware my back would fuse. This also makes me wonder WHY isn’t my back fusing. I mean it’s been 22 months since the first surgery, it’s been 10 months since the hardware was put in, but no fusion yet. It is frustrating to say the least. So I’ll take the images to the doctor to find out his opinion on things, ask some questions and see where we go from here.

I do know that no matter what ALL IS WELL! Even with this disappointment I am well.

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