Attitude of Gratitude can go a LONG way when you are dealing with a lot of health problems. Heck it can go a LOONG way when you aren’t dealing with a lot of health problems! So earlier this month we got repeat xrays on my back which at this point I think I could do in my sleep because I’ve had them done so many times the tech rarely has to re-position me, I usually know exactly how she/he needs me! I was frustrated when I saw the report that said no significant change since January (Healing SLOOOWLY). I saw one of my doctors who has been helping specifically with my back recovery this week and he confirmed that the fusion is happening but at a snails’ pace… he also confirmed that there has been little progress between January and present. He also showed me some other areas of concern on the xray, which were not new areas, and I teased back that one area in particular I was complaining about to him which is why we had recently changed focus in the treatment plan.
So what does this mean? A) I do know what my body is going through because I can feel it. The one issue I had complained about which is why we did the xrays in the first place and the xrays showed exactly what I have been feeling. B) We are going to have to keep doing the xrays to watch for metal fatigue because right now a few pieces of metal is what is holding my spine together (yeah let that sink in for a minute…) C) We continue with the physical therapy and D) Keep up with the supplements.
Mentally what does this mean? ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE! I could be on here whining about how life sucks and I should have never done the surgery and I was better off before, blah blah blah but I honestly don’t believe that. The leg spasms have decreased, I have lost a bunch of weight since I had surgery (the surgeries really gave me the motivation to start losing the weight and then keep it off), and I do believe that I will get better in time. I have an amazing team of doctors. I was talking with one doctor about the upcoming surgery and he said something about that my back hadn’t fused. I said if I had lost my faith in the surgeon I wouldn’t be allowing him to perform the next one, but I haven’t! I have total faith in the surgeon. The surgeon has done everything possible to set me up for perfect fusion, my body has just been SLOOOOOOOW to recover!
So I am going to keep on trucking, keep moving forward and keep looking at all the things I have in life to be grateful for, because at the end of the day…THERE ARE A LOT!!!