Please leg don’t fail me now!

So this week at physical therapy I did squats… which is not my favorite exercise. I dislike doing squats and I do a modified exercise because of my damage to my spine. I am also under the close supervision of the tech while doing the squats. Well I’m not sure if we just did to many this week, or if it’s just the fact that I have no feeling in my right thigh or a combination of everything…but this morning my right leg, specifically my thigh muscle is buckling. Now the fun part is because I cannot feel my thigh or the muscle I get no warning until it buckles.

Which I want to remind everyone that my balance is REALLY CRAPPY! So to be walking and then all the sudden my leg to buckle is not working out well for me this morning. I was walking and it buckled and I stumbled. All I can think is I cannot fall this close to my surgery. I cannot break anything this close to surgery. I dislike that I cannot feel my thigh and that I randomly lose muscle control in my leg. I have a knee brace, but if this continues I have a feeling the doctors are going to evaluate if I need a longer brace on my leg for stability.

This is also why I told the hospital that I am 100% a fall risk. I can admit that my balance is crappy, I can admit that I have neurological complications, and I sway when I try to stand still. My back is not fused and my center of gravity is non-existent. I know this, and I have begrudgingly accepted it for now. It’s hard to accept what you cannot change, but it is wise to learn your limitations before you hurt yourself more.

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