Category Archives: Uncategorized

Emotions, Post Surgery and Restlessness

Last year I had my low back fused, and then 1 month to the day I had a saddle pulmonary embolism that according to the doctors should have killed me. So this year when I had my neck fused I’ll be honest the first 30 days I was holding my breath some. We did the blood thinner shots right after surgery, we did the IVC filter and I am back on blood thinners until the filter comes out probably in October. All that being said, I still held by breath until we hit that 30 day mark and I finally felt like I could breath again.

This post surgery recovery seems to be going more smoothly, and I don’t know if its because it’s so much higher that it has not limited my mobility in the same way that the low back did, or if it’s because this is my 4th major surgery in 2 years so I’m just so used to it that I’m a pro now. In all honesty…it’s probably a combination of the two. I never thought I would become a pro at having major surgeries and it’s not resume material, but you roll with the punches, and keep a good sense of humor about life! I know I haven’t posted in almost two weeks which is unusual for me, and I think I wrote six draft posts and trashed all of them.

I just have been nervous the closer we got to that thirty day mark, a bit restless because we were getting to that thirty day mark and no matter how much you tell yourself this time will be different there is always that small voice in the back of your head to remind you of last time. Every morning I would pass the box of empty shots and think to myself this time WAS different. We learned a very valuable lesson and you ARE fine.

It’s hard when you have had that kind of experience and then you have to turn around and in less than a year put yourself in almost the same circumstances that you were in when you had medical professionals tell you that you should be dead. I am the first one to tell you I am very glad to be alive. I know I am blessed beyond words to be alive. The more people that hear my story the more I realize how blessed I am, we have met several people over this last year who have lost loved ones to saddle pulmonary embolisms. They are no joke. I thank God everyday that I am alive.

I am coming up to the 1 year mark for my 2nd and 3rd surgeries (they were done on the same day) and I think that is why I am so restless. I know that was the event that started the dominoes falling. I know a lot more now then I knew then and we learned from everything that happened. I have a really weird body!

Hopefully with more testing we’ll get some answers on what is going on and why stuff keeps happening. I think we’re headed in the right direction and then maybe I won’t think my body is so weird, it will just be my personality!

You must eat broccoli!

I’m the kid who gets excited to eat broccoli! So things are finally settling down after surgery, I’m starting to fall back into my normal routines. My neck still itches a bit from the allergic reaction but not NEARLY as much as when the skin peeled. So I went for my 2nd INR check and my INR was TOO HIGH! So I was told to eat 1 serving of a high vitamin K food to help bring it back down, so I had steamed broccoli with my lunch and it was FANTASTIC! You forget how yummy it tastes when you haven’t been able to eat it for awhile!

So with the blood thinners vitamin K is the antidote so when I went out of range on the top they had me use the natural antidote to help bring it back down and then I go back next week to have another check to make sure that things still look good. We also adjusted my dosing schedule as well since it rose so quickly and we want to make sure that I am in my dosing levels. So this is what I have not particularly liked about being on blood thinners is the blood checks and the diet restrictions! So we’ll see how this week goes, I’m hoping that the one serving did it and we’re back where we’re supposed to be.

I’ve been really tired and not had the time to take the proper naps this week! I’ve had a lot of appointments for check ups and trying to get things looked at to make sure I am healing properly. There is also that fine line between making sure I am up and active so that I don’t get a blood clot and resting and healing post surgery. The struggle is very real! I have been trying very hard to be up and moving around as much as possible, but also listening to my body and not over doing it because I am healing and I need to rest too but it’s hard because I do feel like I’m being pulled in opposite directions.

I did get the all clear to start physical therapy again and I am back on the schedule soon. I am looking forward to being back and getting back in shape with that. I no longer have to wear my neck brace 24/7 so that is a huge plus as well. I am enjoying the freedom to carefully move my head around again.

My neck does not click the way it did before surgery so I see that as a positive, but when my neck gets tired I am still putting the brace back on for support. I like the freedom of choice of wearing it. I like having it when I need it, but not having to wear it all the time like before. Life is good and we are moving in the right direction again!

Gratitude

When was the last time you stopped and made a list of 5 things you were grateful for? So often in the hustle and bustle of our day we forget about all our blessings we have, we are surrounded by gifts from God. I know especially on bad days we can get distracted from our attitude of gratitude really easily and focus on all the negative but those are the days we need to really stop and think of 5 things we are grateful for the most!

I know that with my surgery I have been really pre-occupied with everything surgery for the last couple of months and my wifey has definitely felt my stress. I knew my surgery was going to go well, I had no doubts about that part of it, but I was still stressed over the details. I am a very detail oriented person and I like to have all the ducks in a row and when one duck is not in that row I get out of sorts.

So I challenge everyone to try this week and take a few minutes to list 5 things you are grateful for everyday. Keep that attitude of gratitude alive and remember that life is short and you are too blessed to be stressed!

Tooblessed

Autism

I’m going to step away from my normal topics and talk a moment about Autism. This month is Autism awareness month and I just want to say that I know quite a few people on the Autism Spectrum. As an elementary school teacher I taught several students who had varying degrees of Autism and it does come with its own set of unique challenges, but each student taught me a different lesson. Children with Autism tend to have sensitivity to light and sound so loud classrooms can cause them distress and then in turn they may not be able to express this distress appropriately.

If you have ever been to a loud party with strobe lights and it’s given you a headache think of that experience happening when you were in a classroom, or the grocery store, or a restaurant. ¬†Often these students would lash out because they were over stimulated because it got too noisy or the light started to bother them, but they couldn’t always express what was wrong. As the adult in the situation we had to look for signs. We had to try and predict, but sometimes you can’t predict.

Autism is unpredictable and I applaud all caregivers. They have beautiful awesome children. Yes they have children who melt down. They have children who may not speak. They have children who may scream when they get excited, but they have awesome, beautiful children. I think too often we (as society in general) can’t see the awesome, beautiful child, we see the Autism.

I have been so blessed to have several children with Autism in my life and their families. I enjoy getting to know them. I enjoy getting to celebrate their achievements and successes. There are so many wonderful beautiful children out there and I can’t wait to continue to celebrate more successes. Nothing makes me happier than a cheesy grin from a child who just succeeded.

BREATHE!~~

So I have the whole lung infection thing going on. I have been monitoring my oxygen levels and they haven’t been great, but still normal. I know a lot of that has to do with the temperatures, the rain and the lung infection. I have to remind myself to take deep breaths. I remember in the hospital the nurses would say that to me, especially in ICU with the blood clot and the pneumonia I would look at them like dude! I have a massive blood clot, pneumonia and you want me to take a deep breath…SERIOUSLY!!! Of course they doped me up on morphine to help with the pain so that helped. I tried not to take the pain killers unless I really needed them because the heavy pain killers made me sleepy and suppressed my breathing which of course then caused my need for deep breaths! It’s one of those can’t win type of cycles…

Of course every time I put the pulse ox meter on my finger I start taking deeper breaths so my levels start going up so I have a feeling that isn’t giving me the best picture of what is going on, but it is giving me a pretty good idea. Earlier I was at 92% and I thought oh that’s not good, so I took my deep breaths and I jumped up to 97% and I thought okay that’s where I’ve been. Now let me say that 92% when you have an acute lung infection like I have is not surprising but this is why I have the meter in the first place! I also have a feeling that is why I am having the issues with the feeling light headed. So I’m keeping a close eye on that. What concerns me the most is that I’m not coughing anything up, I would be feeling better if I was coughing stuff up at this point. I’m sure you are thinking why do you want to be coughing stuff up? Well something is in my lungs, and it needs to get out, and the fact that my stats are dropping is not a good sign. So if we continue on this path I will be back at the doctor early next week and if I get much worse I will be at the ER. Only saving grace is I’m not running a fever and no new symptoms.

What’s your super power?

Discussion of the day: What is your super power? Mine would be making people laugh. Not that I really need to argue my point anyone who has read this for any length of time will already know I am funny looking..I mean funny. I like making people laugh. I tell people all the time I am 4.5 years old. Wifey asked me what I was going to do when the now 3 year old niece turns 4 this summer and I go about what? She goes your age! I go what about my age?? She goes are you going to to get older? And I go now why would I want to do that!!!! Like the shock and horror of having to grow up! I plan to be 4.5 forever. She laughed and I made some farting noise to cement the fact that I was going to stay 4.5. She laughed and shook her head.

Seriously!! You’ve known me this long I’ve been 4.5 why would our niece turning 4 change my mind? I have worked at daycares, taught public school, I’ve worked with kids of all ages and firmly stayed at 4.5, trust me as long as you are in control you can be whatever age you want to be. I just really enjoy finger painting, play dough and dress up! I don’t want to have to give up any of those things, so I choose to stay pre-school aged for life! I would say coloring but all the sudden adult coloring books are becoming popular so you don’t have to be 4.5 for that anymore!

So my super power is making people laugh, what’s yours?

 

Discount

So usually I am complaining about what a pain in the butt my blood clot it. Usually I only have negative things to say about my blood clot. I mean come on there aren’t a lot lot of positive things to say about a blood clot, and this one should have been deadly. Well the other day Mom and I were at a book-fair and the blood clot got us a discount, so I guess it does have it’s upside…..I’m not exactly sure how we got on the subject, I think it’s because I had my cane we got on the subject, I’m not sure.

I really do try to have an attitude of gratitude. I want to remember all the things that I have going for me in positive column because there are a lot of things going in the negative column. It’s my choice which column I want to look at.