So everyone has been posting pictures of the jars with the pieces of paper saying for 2016 keep a jar and when good things happen write them down and stick them in the jar and then on New Year’s Eve open the jar and read all the good memories. Well….I tried this for 2015 I started writing down the good stuff and then I lost the jar. No clue what happened to it. I’m sure its around here somewhere, my guess is it got put in the garage only because I haven’t seen it! That’s my answer for everything it’s in the garage! haha Not really but it sounds good right? So looking back on 2015 I just want to say it was not all bad. Sure I had some really bad health things happen *coSaddlePulmonaryEmbolismugh* but we had some really good things happen so I want to list some of the good things. I don’t want you to think that everything was bad this year. I don’t want you to think I hated 2015 because that is not true. It had some bumps in the road but it wasn’t all bad.
Nephew was born!
Wife got a couple of promotions at work!!
Got a couple debits paid off
Sold my car (okay so this one was bittersweet)
Had Christmas with our family at our house this year
Mom bought me Purple Canning Jars for my Birthday
I did well on my March Maddness Bracket
I got my Spinal cord stimulator implant!!!! (Yes this was a positive)
I lost 50lbs this year
Wife was in 2 art shows
Wife started selling her prints online and sold at a couple craft shows
I know there were a lot more things, but that just gives you a taste that things were good this year. I want to do the jar again this year, but I am going to make a better effort at not losing the jar! I do think it is really important to count your blessings. I joke about my health and almost dying and people think I’m weird, but funny. I know I’m weird. I accept my weirdness. I am so blessed this year it was a very emotionally year for us but we are still standing. Tonight we are planning on a quiet evening because that’s what we need. My chest is still hurting my oxygen stats are all over the board they are between 96%-99% when I am sitting on the couch but they will drop down to 85% so I know something is going on, but I can’t put my finger on it. I have a feeling something is off but I just don’t know what and when I can’t describe what is off it’s hard for a doctor to help. Wifey was watching last night when it dropped down to 85% and then jumped back up and she goes do you feel different when it does that? And I go not really, my chest hurts and between my chest hurting and my back hurting that’s all I’m registering right now. So we’re monitoring closely and ringing in the new year at home and counting all our blessings. We are too blessed to be stressed right? That’s how the saying goes at least.
Ahhh it’s that time of year where Mother Nature is bipolar and the temperatures outside have gone from 70s to today the high will be 54. Yeah, fun times or as I like to call it pneumonia weather! Yesterday my chest was bothering me which I have been told is normal. Today my chest is hurting me, which I am wondering because of the wet crazy weather we are having if I am coming down with pneumonia again. So when I was in ICU the nurse asked me about if I had gotten a flu shot, no, do you want one no. Did you get a pneumonia shot? No and I apparently have pneumonia…do you want a pneumonia shot? I think its a little late for that one! So I take that as a no too then…YES! That would be a no, then I start laughing and then it hurt and I regretted laughing, of course I was on oxygen at the time and that helped, but it still hurt.
So on Christmas my brother in law was sick he had a cold, then yesterday I was holding the nephew who was cranky and had a fever but we’re pretty sure he’s just teething. I think I need a shirt that says “Keep your sickness, I’m good!” I know it’s that time of year, and trust me I would have held the nephew just like I did yesterday and cuddled him because that’s what he needed. I used to do the same thing when I worked daycare and even when I taught I would comfort kids when they are sick because that’s what you do. Of course when I taught if they had a fever they went to the nurse, but during allergy season the kids feel bad but they can come to school they just sneeze a lot.
I just keep washing my hands and hope that I don’t get pneumonia again, once was enough thank you very much. I also get bronchitis a lot so we watch out for that too, being asthmatic my lungs don’t like to breathe and now that I have a blood clot trying to help slow them down…. All is well. It’s almost the end of 2015, 2016 will be here before we all know it and I am excited about the fresh start. New year new goals, new adventures. New life lessons right?
A forum that I was reading asked an interesting question… “If you could rid yourself of one chronic illness which one would you get rid of?” Many people posted I would get rid of this one or that one. Most chose the one that causes the others which makes sense. I read the question and I thought the back pain first and then I thought maybe the neurological issues, but then I thought well those are supposed to go away at some point so I don’t want to waste my magic wand so yes the back pain. Then I thought no maybe I need to get rid of the arthritis. The arthritis has been causing issues so maybe now that the back pain has a solution I need to get rid of the arthritis and the more I thought about the question the more I realized there was not an easy answer!
So then I decided maybe I could just save the magic wand and decide next year! I mean they didn’t say I had to decide NOW. I could wait see what shakes out and then think about what really annoys me the most and in the coming year make a decision. See most people given a magic wand could choose one illness to get rid of because they only have a few major health problems.
Last night I was on Facebook and saw this picture of a baby Chewbacca and the meme said that if heartburn during pregnancy meant the baby was going to have hair than they must be giving birth to a baby Chewbacca and I LAUGHED. I laughed so hard the cat got scared and ran away, like hid! I was laughing and laughing and Jenna looks at me because I’m laughing so hard tears are running down my face, I can barely breathe. She’s asking what I’m cackling over which of course makes me laugh all over again, and then I see the picture of baby Chewbacca and the baby bottle with the bite out of the bottom and I start laughing. So I finally put the laptop down show it to Jenna and say I thought of my sister! Which of course got Jenna laughing. My sister had terrible heartburn with her first pregnancy and my niece had a full head of hair when she was born.
The cat survived, she came back eventually, you would think she would be used to me laughing at this point. Every once in awhile I get to really laughing uncontrollably and she doesn’t like that. I find laughter is good medicine which is why I like to joke. I joke a lot. I joke about everything I possibly can because I can and I think it’s a gift that I should share. When I was in high school I took drama and the teacher was amazed at how well I did at improv but it’s because I like to be random and silly and I can think on my feet.
So I used to not be a purse wielding type of gal. One Christmas I was upset with my grandmother for thinking I was actually. As I’ve gotten older and wiser, or maybe just older….I started carrying around a purse. I think part of it is that I just have more CRAP. I mean when you are younger you don’t have much to carry with you. Then you get your driver’s license, then comes the credit card. Then comes the loyalty card to every store you have ever stepped foot into or even walked past, I mean have I even stepped foot into that store? Maybe once WHY do I have a loyalty card? Am I even LOYAL to them? Oh wait I remember there was that cashier who looked at me with their sad brown eyes and asked pretty please on that one day back in 2001…yes that’s why I have that card and I keep it in my wallet in the off chance that I MIGHT decide to walk back into that store. Doesn’t matter that I have not in the last 14 years walked back into that store, nor thought about that store unless I was cleaning my wallet, but what if I decide on some cold windy day to breeze back in there, I want to be prepared!
Actually what had happened is this! So I have this serious kind of deadly allergy to Lysol. Yes, you read that right Lysol as in the cleaning product. I am allergic to clean. I will die if you spray it near me, I go into anaphylaxis so I have to carry around an Epipen. Well I also have to carry around an inhaler because yeah my lungs suck and I have asthma, well I also now carry around the wand to turn my spinal cord stimulator on and off so by the time you put those items in my small purse the thing is almost full. Well then you gotta add my wallet with the loyalty cards from every store that I have ever passed since 2001 and I have to have a few mints in case I get nauseous plus the lip balm, the eyeglass cloth and my keys and yeah the purse is busting at the seems. So my beautiful wife bought me a new purse today.
So we go and we’re shopping for a new purse while her car gets a much needed oil change. Well we don’t want to get a really big purse for me because I don’t want to carry around more than I should, but I want to have room for all those things I need like every loyalty card from 2001. So we actually found a purse that has 2 compartments so I can put the Epipen, inhaler and wand in one, and then the wallet and everything else in the other which is perfect. I am really happy and its only a little bigger than what I had which is exactly what we were going for. I actually found what I wanted…I think we need to play the lottery!
So the leaves are falling and it’s supposed to be 80 degrees today. Like really?? The leaves are beautiful shades of reds, oranges and yellows and the temperature is 80! I think Mother Nature doesn’t want to let summer go!
The bunny likes the cat, the cat doesn’t like the bunny…well that’s not quite accurate the cat doesn’t like the bunny when he is out of the cage. So today I got the bunny out of his cage and he sneaked up on her and she JUMPED straight up in the air. I LAUGHED. All he did was nudged her a little on her butt with his nose. I mean just a little tap. I think it might have been a love tap, a playful tap. Creme on the other hand did not appreciate this show of love.
Oh how I enjoy the animals. They bring me so much joy. Today I am in pain. I have an awful cough that I am taking prescription cough syrup every 4 hours for, I didn’t sleep well, and my back is bothering me. I am hoping I can nap later, but we’ll see. Life with chronic pain is no joke.
So before I was whisked away by ambulance and told I should be dead, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. Well apparently I did have pneumonia and I guess with the changing of the seasons, the up and down temperatures the pneumonia doesn’t want to LEAVE ME ALONE!!! Today I have been battling a very mucusy cough which is gross, but I have to watch it carefully because a mucusy cough with blood in it can be a sign of a pulmonary embolism and since we already know I have one, we want to make sure that I don’t get another, or it decides to move or anything else. So all day I have had this awful cough and have felt like death.
So this afternoon I laid down to take a nap, but as soon as I lay down I am WIDE awake. WHY??? I mean really? Come on people! I just want to sleep even 20 minutes, just a short nap and I would be happy. I don’t have to sleep a long time. I think that is the most frustrating feeling when you know you are tired, you feel tired and as soon as you lay down all the sudden you are wide awake as if laying your body down on the bed was the equivalent of drinking 10 cups of coffee or 1 Dr. Pepper 10….(that’s a story for another blog)
So I laid on the bed with my eyes closed I tried counting sheep, even the sheep are laughing at me. 1..2..stop laughing!..3..4..come on…5..6..oh forget this! So I open my eyes and I think what else can I do….so I start focusing on my breathing and then I decide my breathing sounds annoying and then I decided that I just needed to get up because whatever I tried was just not going to work.
Then I started wondering if I am the only one who can lay down and have their own sheep laugh at them when they are trying to count them? I mean could you imagine if you could see into other people’s dreams and they had sheep laughing at them too? We could start a sheep counter help group lesson 1 how to get them to stop laughing…..
Actually if the coughing would stop I would be much happier than a laughing counting sheep! hehe
So I’ve been out of the hospital less than a week and the plan today is to take the 3 year old niece on a carriage ride through historic downtown. Yes it’s an open carriage drawn by horses and it’s raining, not a heavy rain, but a light rain. Anyone know a sun dance? I mean in school they teach us rain dances there must be an opposite right? We even get taught snow dances, but why not sun dances? Anyone ever thought of that? We are dancing FOR precipitation, but never AGAINST it! I mean Mother Nature and I need to have a sit down!
The rain is aggravating my asthma which is nothing new, at least the temperature here is supposed to be a little warmer 67 degrees….yeah okay….well maybe I won’t need 4 layers of clothes to go outside today… I am finding that being on blood thinners I need an extra layer or two of clothing which before blood thinners I was already the person wearing 2 layers of clothes when everyone else was in shorts, so as you can imagine my wife is giggling a bit at me. Last night I was freezing to death in my long sleeved shirt and jeans and I go to look at the thermostat that informed me the house was 70 degrees and I realized I wasn’t freezing to death, I just thought I was, so I pulled out a blanket and sat under a blanket.
I normally sleep with a blanket all year round, yes even summer, so this is going to get interesting as the temperatures get colder. My physical therapy office would chuckle when I came in there because often I would have multiple layers on that I would be stripping off before I would go to the back for treatment because who wants to do exercises with a long sleeved shirt on, a hoodie, a vest and a winter coat? Plus I would also have a scarf, and usually a hat too. So I would leave all this stuff with whoever drove me that day and it really looked like I had enough clothing for at least 2 people, but it was all for me. Hey during the winter I get enough upper respiratory infections on my own, I don’t need help by not dressing warm enough!
This is going to be an adventure and one I don’t get a map for, but I figure that when its all said and done it makes for a great story, and maybe even a book. I mean who knows what I’ll do next. I have too much free time as it is, but the cat is grateful I didn’t dress her up this year. So maybe I don’t have as much free time as I think….