Mother Nature needs to stop all this COLD WEATHER!!! I mean this morning my right arm and elbow hurts. It’s hard when you have so many chronic pain issues, fibromyalgia, chronic pain syndrome, etc. I woke up this morning and my elbow hurt! I mean really?! I think it’s probably a combination of the cold weather and the fact that I push up using my arm because of my back. It’s the same thing with my hips being out of alignment because my knees are in braces, when they pop then my hip tends to get out of alignment. I also tend to lean to one side when my back hurts. I try really hard to keep good posture because I do know how important it is, but I am human after all!
I straightened my knee out and I heard a really loud POP! Ah the joys of having knee caps that don’t want to stay PUT! I really wish they would however. Is it too much to ask for my body parts to stay where they are supposed to stay? I mean I shouldn’t have to say to the knee cap stay knee cap, stay..good knee cap! The physical therapy is helping, I know that it will take time to get all the muscle groups to be strong enough to take over for the knee, but it’s all good. I am upright and that’s all that matters.
It’s a good day when you get out of bed and you are upright, people who have been confined to a bed understand this gift. People who have back problems and have been confined to a bed understand this gift even more! Being stuck in a hospital bed and told you can’t get up or you will die definitely not a highlight of my life. I almost want to make a top ten list of things I really wish I hadn’t heard from a doctor and You should be dead would be number 1 for sure. Still can’t figure out why the doctor didn’t brace us for that news! I mean seriously!
I really want some heated blankets today it’s cold, wifey opened the door to the house to leave and a gust of arctic wind hit her and she was breathless. She was not expecting it to be that cold in April. The weather just has not been that cooperative. I just want warmer weather in hopes that my joints won’t hurt as badly. I mean I get that they hurt, but right now they hurt so badly I want to disown all of them one by one!
So in the last year I’ve lost 53.8lbs. I’ve been working very hard at losing weight and keeping it off. So this morning I put on this blue shirt that my Mom bought me as a birthday shirt, the problem with said shirt is that it’s now about 3 sizes too big for me. So I said to Mom that I am swimming in my shirt, she laughed and told me she agreed. But I LOVE MY SHIRT!! I know it’s just a shirt, but it’s PRETTY! I should put it in the pile for giveaway send it to a new home, and release it into the universe for a new woman to enjoy. Maybe after it goes in the washer I will release it because after looking at myself in the mirror today I realized that I really need to put it in the donation pile. It’s a beautiful shirt, but it’s time in my collection is over.
I went to the back surgeon today and my x-rays looked good. I went to the clinic and got my blood tested and my INR was still within level at 2.0 but just barely. So I got some work there, but I got this.
One more doctor visit to go this week. I have just the clinic visit next week so far, not sure what I am going to do with myself when I don’t have a doctor’s appt, I mean it seems like I’ve been seeing 2 doctors a week since I’ve gotten out of the hospital.
I’m also going to start working on that comedy routine, one day I’ll perform!
Yesterday I saw 2 of my doctors. The first on I saw was my neurologist. I never thought I would need a neurologist but after my first back surgery I started to get terribly carsick. The worst part of this carsickness is that once I got carsick it would linger until I went to bed. So I said this to my back surgeon who wrote me 2 different referrals, one was to an ENT and one was to a neurologist. So I made appointments with both hoping that one would figure out what was going on. So the ENT took a look and told me everything looked fine and then the audiologist looked at me and I recognized her and said to her I’ve been to you before. Sure enough I had been referred to her for the same problems after I had been under general anesthesia after my knee surgery in 2008. So she did the tests on me and then she pulled my medical files from 2008 and they were the same. So she said to me I don’t think this is your ears, I think this might be neurological. I told her I had an appointment with a neurologist too. So she told me to let them weigh in on the matter, but if I needed to do a tilt table test again I knew where to find her and I laughed and go OH I HOPE NOT!!! I had gotten so terribly SICK when she did that to me before!
So I went to the neurology appointment and he said that when I am put under general anesthesia the tubes that go from my ears to my brain gets messed up. One tube gets over dilated and the other gets under dilated and if they are even .1 off it causes vertigo, nausea, and balance problems. So I am on medication now to combat the problem, well when I had surgeries 2 and 3 as you can imagine another dose of anesthesia and yup those symptoms came back, so we adjusted the medication. I also told him of my mild concussion I suffered since I last saw him and the trip to the hospital. He told me I lead a dangerous life…I told him I didn’t think I did, but I guess if you heard those stories I could see where you would think I did…and then he asked about how the spinal chord stimulator worked so I pulled out my wand and showed him how I turned it on and off.
Primary Care Doctor appointment was the one I was waiting for because the Primary Care doctor and I have seen each other for many years now so we have a good patient/doctor relationship. So to hear that I almost died he was not pleased. Not to say that anyone was pleased to hear that, I mean the neurologist was also not pleased to hear that information and he just met me this year. People like me, I’m funny I enjoy life, I like to bring joy to other people’s lives, etc. So the nurse comes out and she asks how I am doing and she acts like I am a China Doll. Which I think is kind of funny because I am tough, I mean I survived a saddle pulmonary embolism! I know she was showing empathy and please hear me when I like the nurse, she does an excellent job I just found it funny when she was treating me with just delicate hands. So she gets the story for the 2nd time because my wife had gone in to get FLMA paperwork filled out last week so they had heard the story from my wife already. So I tell my version of the events plus some extra stuff that my wife wasn’t there for like what the doctors said when she was at work, etc. Told them my INR was 2.8 this week (which my INR needs to be between 2.0-3.0), that stuff. Then in walks my doctor and he smiled when he asked me how I was. I looked at him and I go oh well you know better then when I was being transported by AMBULANCE to the Hospital, oh and better than when not 1, not 2 but THREE doctors told me I should be DEAD right now. Like really??!! I’m OBVIOUSLY still alive, like why are you going to look at me and go I really don’t understand why you are alive??? Maybe you aren’t the doctor that should be taking care of me, go back and find one that does understand why I am alive I want that doctor! He chuckled at that one because of course I am being just a little over dramatic for him 😉 He said that he saw the scan and I did have a very large blood clot and he is very happy that I am still alive and he really doesn’t want me to die on him. I told him that I really don’t want to die on him so we are in agreeance on that one! But we got a plan going for treatment and a lot of this is a marathon, the blood clot is huge, we have to give the body time to dissolve it, blood thinners take time. So we are going to keep me on the blood thinner, I am going to keep going to the clinic to have my INR checked and he’s going to keep an eye on me. We’re going to do repeat tests and scans in 6 months to compare with what was taking in the hospital and then make a new plan.
You never realize how AMAZING a shower is unless you’ve gone an extended period without being able to take a proper one. This morning’s shower was AMAZING. Seriously! While I was in the hospital I was not allowed to shower because I had to have a heart monitor on me 24/7 to make sure I was still alive so the closest I got was a sponge bath and the closest I got to washing my hair was this heated shower cap. Now I was grateful for what I got because at least something is better than nothing, but this morning THAT was the real deal and it felt FABulous. I took a longer shower than normal (but I made sure to keep my arm dry) just because after 10 days in the hospital I missed my shower so much!
I also missed a good cup of coffee, but that is going to have to wait a bit longer. My wife is not a coffee drinker, she is a tea drinker and so in the 10 days that I was in the hospital the coffee that I brewed the morning I passed out well it grew mold. So before I can make myself a good cup of coffee I am going to have to clean the coffee maker out really well. Yeah it sucks, but such is life. I’ll forgive the tea drinker this time 😉
I will say that I have noticed that my breaths are shallower which they tell me is because of my blood clot. I try to remind myself to take deeper breaths, but I kind of feel like I am breathing through a straw and that apparently is also due to the blood clot…the gift that keeps on giving. When I lived in Spain I got used to that no one uses ice in their drinks, so when I came back to the states I stopped using ice in my drinks because I found it unpleasant to add ice. When I was in the hospital they added ice to my drinks, so I got used to having ice in my drinks again. So my sister picked up one of my empty cups and says to me hey there is ice in here, so me being me go yeah apparently when you have a near death experience you change your beverage choices. The entire room including my sister starts to laugh. Of course my sister also shakes her head at me, but hey I gotta keep my humor about all this!
They say humor is the best medicine and I really am trying to keep a positive upbeat attitude the whole time I was in the hospital I only cried twice once was when I thought they had blown the vein in my arm and I was upset that they weren’t going to be able to get blood easily for all the blood tests they had to do, and trust me when you have a massive blood clot they are drawing blood like every 6 hours! The 2nd time was when I found out my INR was 1.9 AGAIN and I didn’t think I was actually going to be discharged yesterday and I was upset because I really REALLY wanted to be home for my wedding anniversary, I mean can you blame me on that one? I was the youngest person on my floor because it was a cardiac unit and it was all the people with severe cardiac issues so I tried to lighten the mood for the nurses by keeping it light. At one point I was going through my Heparin IV bags every 2 hours, so I would have to call the nurse to have them come change them. Well I decided that instead of calling and saying “My Heparin needs to be changed” I needed to come up with more creative phone calls so here are some of the phone calls the nurses received
“Mr. Heparin decided he needed a new playmate because he’s bored with me, can you come here and play?”
“Mr. Heparin needs a date for the dance, can you please be his date?”
“Mr. Heparin needs a massage because it’s been a long day, can you spare a minute or two?”
“Mr. Heparin wants to talk and he says I’m not a good listener, he wants someone else, can you give it a whirl?”
Yup they are all crazy, but the nurses found it hilarious. One of the nurses challenged me to come up with even better ones the next time I needed to call her, so she kept me on my toes That was a good nurse! LOL I liked when they challenged me.
I am HOME!! Yes you read that right, I am home from my 10 day stay at the hospital. The magic number for me to come home was 2.0, so yesterday my Coumadin level was 1.9 so we pretty confident that I would be able to come home today. I asked the nurse what my Coumadin level was and she said 1.9 and I said to her wait..that’s what it was YESTERDAY! She said, I know I didn’t want to give you the bad news so I wasn’t going to tell you unless you asked me.
So I took a deep breath and sighed a little because today is my 2nd wedding anniversary. I wanted to be home with my wife, and really who can blame me? I had been in the hospital since October 16th when I was brought in by ambulance. I had been told by at least 3 doctors that I should be dead, and they were amazed I was alive and kicking. I have bruises everywhere from the blood thinners they have been giving me to try and thin my blood enough to absorb the massive saddle pulmonary embolism. I called my Mom to tell her, she was on her way in to the hospital to keep me company and I started to cry a bit. The nurse had told me that I would have a blood re-draw at 2:30pm and we would see if my levels had come up that .1.
Well around 10:30am the vampire came in…I mean the lab came in and drew my blood and when the results came in I was at 2.0!!!! So when the doctor came in, he told me that he was discharging me and I was the happiest girl alive! I was very pleased that I could FINALLY go home. It’s the little things in life like being able to go to the bathroom without an IV pole, or being able to sleep through the night without someone coming in to take your blood pressure, or just make sure you are still breathing.
I was really ill, I should be dead, and I understand this. I also understand that I am not dead I am very much alive. I also understand that I will have to go to the Coumadin Clinic, I will have to change my diet a bit, and I am taking this very seriously. I am also going to be humorous because that is who I am. I am going to make jokes, but that does not take away that I don’t know how lucky I am. I will have to go through some cardiac testing in 6 months checking for some possible permanent damage from when the clot passed through my heart.