Tag Archives: internal clock

Who’s afraid of stress?

Sickthisoften

So this is going to be a LONG week for me of appointments which I dislike because I prefer to have down time when I can. In the shower I was thinking about my week and the appointments, I couldn’t remember one. I’m thinking and thinking and it just wouldn’t come to me and it’s frustrating because I KNOW I HAVE ONE MORE! So I get out of the shower, get dressed the whole nine yards and look at my phone and it’s DUH!

So the answer becomes what do you do when you are sick/have a chronic illness/multiple chronic illnesses and have a busy week? REST WHEN YOU CAN! I have been taking a nap every chance I can get! Yesterday I took a 2 hour nap and it was GLORIOUS! I think the wifey was surprised because I have not taken a long nap like that in quite some time, but hey I was dead to the world sleeping and enjoying it, so I SLEPT! I have also been making sure to go to bed on time, waking up when my body wakes up which internal clock and I are on the outs…5:30am is way to early, but that’s what I am getting right now…and making sure to do my allowed amount of exercise daily. I am doing my physical therapy exercises as well.

We have switched from the knees to the back so I am incorporating the back exercises back into my routine more often too (I never stopped doing the core/back exercises, but now they are getting done more frequently again). Still working on the knees. Life is good. I am also doing my morning devotion, making sure to take some time out each moment to try and quiet myself which is hard right now because I am so busy.

Sometimes it’s hard to just take a moment and remember to just breathe. Just relax and be in the moment. Shut out everything that is going on. It’s good. Take just a moment and breathe. Take just a moment for yourself. You can do this, you are worth it. Just a few minutes each moment.

Shoes and braces….

Apparently I lost my mind for a moment this morning…now it could have been that my body decided that 5:30am was a good time to wake up and my brain wanted to sleep later. I did try to stay in bed later, but the longer I fought my body the more my pain increased and I soon realized this was a losing battle. So body 1-brain-0. So I got up threw on my walking clothes figuring if I was going to be up so early I would get my walk in early, then get breakfast and a shower. Sounds like a plan right? So I get the socks on, put the shoes on stand up and CRACK! BOTH KNEES CRACK like the old wooden staircase in some creepy old house you shouldn’t be playing in as a kid. I close my eyes and softly shake my head…knee braces…still sitting on the FLOOR…

Remember what I said about body-1 brain-0 WELL apparently when my body won the argument to get up, my brain still tried to sleep in because now I have my shoes tied and my knee braces are sitting on the floor beside me. Of course I now have to untie said shoes to take them off and put the knee braces on in order to walk, but what else is knew? I think I need some coffee…

Gingersnap

Where’s the reset button?

I think internal clocks should have a snooze button! I mean you should be able to tap your butt and get an extra five minutes of sleep…or something right? I mean it works on regular clocks! So this morning my beautiful internal clock woke me up at 5 freakin’ thirty! I was like I think you missed the memo where we SPRUNG forward so in no universe does this even MAKE SENSE!! I should not be awoken THIS EARLY! This is too early for even the SUN to be up! I mean at least let the bird be THINKING of being awake before me. Nope everything was asleep, the sun, the birds it was DARK. The only thing that was awake was me and my funky breathing, I wear a mask for the sleep apnea and the mask was making a funny noise so I flipped over and adjusted it because if I was going to be awake I was NOT going to be annoyed by some cross between a whistle and a popping noise. So I flipped over tugged at my mask a bit cursed under my breath at my internal clock a BUNCH, and tried to go back to sleep.

I think my internal clock thinks this is a game because then at 6 freakin’ thirty it woke me up AGAIN, THIS time it was because my arm was asleep. So I re-positioned myself, cursed my internal clock some more because at this point I am highly annoyed that I have been awoke twice before my normal 7am and tried to go back to sleep. So then I woke up a third and final time around 7:30am which was much more acceptable to my terms and conditions as found on page 10 paragraph 3 line 4.

So I got up made some coffee which I won’t be allowed to drink for the next 2 days because I’m having cardiac testing on Wednesday and they don’t let you have caffeine 24 hours before the test! I would rant and rave about the injustness of this and have they seen me without caffeine but the answer is yes multiple times so I might as well save my breath! So I’ll do that test and then I’ll have a similar test done so I’ll have to go through this all again soon enough. Which I’m like eh whatever! It’s all good really! I need to get the answers on the crazy heartbeats so we can figure out the best treatment plan. I can survive without coffee I just choose NOT to!

Happy Pi Day!! I did not forget, I am excited! I always love Pi Day and today is Rounded Pi Day and if you don’t know what that means you are not a math nerd, but we love you anyways. Today is 3/14/16 and if you round Pi you get 3.1416 so its Rounded Pi Day. So enjoy a slice of pie in honor of Pi day!

Internal clock…we need an intervention!

Okay so I’ve never been a fan of Daylight Savings Time…especially in the SPRING, I mean seriously who was sitting under an apple tree and thought we should all lose an hour of sleep? THAT’S A BRILLIANT IDEA!! I think God should have made an apple fall and hit the nut-job on the head and given them 5 minutes of amnesia and made the whole idea of Daylight Savings Time VANISH!! But seriously why do we feel like this is a good idea? Twice a year we screw with our internal clocks?

So my internal clock decide to wake me up at the normal 7am time..well 7am internal clock time which was 8am now. I just shook my head and got up because I decided that until I have an intervention with my internal clock I’m going to lose! I mean my brain is just going to get me up at 7am it’s time every day and I just need to suck it up. The sooner I accept that I am powerless over my internal clock the sooner I can face it.

I think about all those years that I was definitely NOT a morning person and now I am the chippy morning personĀ  person awake at 7am, and making breakfast for my wife. Whatever happened to the girl who slept in until 9am on the weekends? Definitely not here anymore! The pain I feel wakes me up 7am on the dot, if I wake up later I see it as a blessing. I mean if I am waking up later than 8am I am singing like Maria from “Sound of Music” I mean really woot! I got to sleep in! Most kids get up early on Christmas morning to sneak down to see what is in their stocking, peek at their gifts, NOT ME! I would be snug in my bed, Mom did let me sleep in SOME, but she would let my 2 sisters wake me up at 8am, and then when my brother came along, the 3 of them would wake me up at 8am to open presents. When I would complain Mom would tell me I had a lifetime to sleep in..well apparently my internal clock was plotting against me alll the way back then! See it was waiting in the bushes like a lion waiting for its unsuspecting prey. It made me think I had all the time in the world to sleep in, but NO!

Now as an adult I get to wake up at 7am. Thank you internal clock..I hate you!

Internal clock…I hate you!

So this was yesterday in a nutshell…I went to routine cardiologist appointment I get one way ticket to ER, I spend 9 hours in the ER before they decide I can go home, I go to bed around 1am, my body wakes up at 7am like usual……internal clock…I HATE YOU!!!!

Next month will be 6 months since I had my saddle pulmonary embolism and I need to have a repeat echocardiogram to see if my heart is back to normal size. So I had made an appointment with my cardiologist for this week before the chest pains started on Monday. So I went over everything with him. My EKG that they did in his office was normal, but the chest pains plus other symptoms he wanted to rule out another blood clot. I understood the reasoning because every time he asked me do you have this symptom it was yes, BUT…. so he said chest CT to rule out blood clot today.

So we went to the ER they took over an hour to even take me back to triage. I had another repeat EKG which was normal, they ordered the CT. They put me back out in the very full waiting room. So I finally went back after waiting for about 5 hours and they had an incoming trauma, so they had to wait for that to clear before doing the CT. So I waited some more. Which trust me when I say I totally get that waiting. I was stable and I would much rather wait for someone in a life or death situation because that was me almost 6 months ago! So we got the CT and then the doctor came back told me it was normal but now he was calling my cardiologist to find out if I needed to be admitted for more testing. Oh geez! In the notes he gave the charge nurse (and I know this because I was standing right next to him when he gave them to her) he said he just needed me cleared of a blood clot, then I was free to go. So I say okay, and we waited another hour for me to be discharged to follow up with the cardiologist. So I spent 9 hours in the ER.

Wifey laughed about only I could go in for a routine doctor’s appointment and end up with a 9 hour ER visit. At least I got a normal CT out of the deal! That should count for something….rigght? So I have more cardiac testing in my near future. I really need a punch card, I want something free! I am really happy that all my doctors are working to keep me healthy because I plan on living a LONG life. I mean I have a lot of goals to work on like farting on que. Yup I just said it! I tease the wifey ALL the time about that I am going to learn to fart on que so I can fart on her whenever I want! I haven’t quite mastered that skill yet, so I’m still working on it.

Internal Clock Snooze button?

So for quite some time I only slept 7.5 hours. Now that wasn’t sound sleep, that wasn’t continuous sleep, but I would go to bed and I would wake up 7.5 hours from the time I went to bed. Didn’t matter what time I went to bed that’s when I would wake up (if no artificial alarm was set). So now that I am not working it seems that my internal clock has given me an extra 30 minutes since my blood clot issue. So apparently when you face off with death you get 30 extra minutes of sleep…HOWEVER I really don’t want to have to be that close to death every time I want some extra ZZZs I mean that was a really traumatic experience for my whole family for me to get a little extra rest.

So while I am really grateful that I seem to be getting 30 extra minutes of sleep yesterday I had to go to the doctor to discuss the whole Yeti in the bathtub situation and since I knew he would do blood work I didn’t make coffee so it would be fasting blood work. My appointment was early in the morning so that made it easier to fast. Well by the time I did the doctor’s appointment and got the blood work and then ate brunch it was too late for a cup of joe and not thinking about that I hadn’t had my daily dose of caffeine I had lemonade with lunch. I don’t drink soda because it taste funny because of one of the medications I am on, however if I had been thinking about the lack of caffeine in my life I would have drank a small amount of caffeinated soda just to give myself something and then drank the lemonade. I had thought about drinking tea, but due to the blood thinners I have to be careful about drinking green tea.

So much of my life right now is dictated by medical conditions and medication. I can’t eat this because of medication, I can’t do this because of medical condition but it doesn’t get me down..well most days! I really do try and focus on the positives. I try and focus on the stuff I still can do. I try and focus on the stuff I can change. I think of the Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

SerenityPrayer

I can accept that there are a lot of medical issues going on right now, I am working on losing weight to help improve my health (changing what I can), I am taking the medicines to help control the symptoms and going to all the medical appointments and know that I am not a doctor…not even on TV.

 

Sleep, perhaps to dream

I’ve never quite understood how this seems to work with me. I go to bed at 10pm and wake up at 7:30am, I go to bed at 1am and I wake up at 7:30am…REALLY??!! I think I should be ALLOWED to sleep in, but no not I. Last night I was on the phone for over 3.5 hours which has not happened since I was dating Jenna, and rarely did we talk on the phone that long, we would text that long but rarely do we talk on the phone that long. I was cutting up with a really good friend and before I knew it BOOM! 1am, I’m like how did that happen? I mean it’s like 8pm and then I turn around and it’s 1am, and here recently if I go past the magic pumpkin hour of about 11pm I would have fallen asleep on the couch. I did that the other night, I was waiting for Jenna and I am pretty sure I had fallen asleep on the couch with the laptop in my lap, with my hand on my mouse, I probably looked like a statue if you were just looking at me and I wasn’t snoring….hahaha!

It’s gotten colder outside overall, the last few leaves are beginning to fall, frost is on the car windows in the morning. They say we have a 10-25% chance of a white Christmas. Weather here is always crazy because we can have all 4 seasons in a week I swear! I think that makes it the hardest on me when Mother Nature is bipolar and gives us Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter in about 72 hours. On the blood thinners I am naturally colder and that doesn’t help me either, so I’ve been wearing a scarf that Jenna crocheted last year around this time and her coat! hahaha today we are going to unpack my winter coat now that she wants to wear hers. I keep telling her what’s hers is mine and what’s mine is mine! You would think after being married 2 years she would figure this out already……