Tag Archives: knee cap

NAPS!

Okay fess up who doesn’t like a good NAP? I mean I really think the Spanish have it right with siestas in the afternoon! Take a nap go back to work, you feel refreshed! As a child I stopped napping at 6 months which my poor Mom had to put up with, as an adult I take a nap about everyday now…I think I am making up for lost time…sorry Mom! My Mom really is a saint! She takes me to my appointments, helps with taking me to do odd errands like going to the bank, post office etc. When she jokes about that I am her full time job she’s not kidding!

I am really grateful for my Mom and how much help she has been these last couple of years with getting me to these appointments. I don’t know where I would be without her. It’s been nice to spend some extra time with her. Of course when we spend all this extra time it doesn’t feel like quality time because its always around medical appointments. I am seeing this doctor or that doctor, I’m getting this or that test run. So every once in awhile she and I will pick a day and just go out. We’ll spend some quality time together that is not around some medical appointment or procedure.

I know that my whole life is not going to be based around doctor visits and medical testing but right now that’s what it feels like and it’s exhausting! I have all these pills to take, all these blood draws and tests plus physical therapy. I’m always at this doctor or that’s office for some sort of check up. I have this test or that test coming up. My calendar is already filling up for December and we haven’t even hit September yet… life of anyone with a chronic illness!

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Can we have a redo?

Sometimes you just need a redo, I mean the day you just need to climb back into bed and start over. You just want to climb back into bed pull up the covers and try again. That was the day I had today. I have done pretty good with the blood thinner shots, but today I must have had the angle wrong which considering that I can’t look down and I’m having to use the mirror to give myself the shot I think I’m doing pretty well. So I gave myself the shot but it hurt, then after the needle was out it hurt even more. So that was not pleasant. Mother Nature has been giving us temps in the middle to upper 90s with feels like temperatures over 100 degrees so it’s HOT outside.

So I’m pretty sure I am melting like I should have reached my melting point at some point today…and of course I remember that one summer I worked for that theme park and I would be outside in 115 degree weather..yeah that was fun…NOT! So then I decide that maybe I haven’t reached my melting point yet. But I decide to eat a popsicle to cool down just to be on the safe side! Not that I think I need an excuse to eat a popsicle because now that I am an adult I pretty much can eat one whenever I want and I have a valid excuse for eating one. It’s 6am and I’m eating a popsicle because it is orange and I decided to have frozen orange juice with my breakfast…yeah because I’m an adult! See how that works?

So then later in the day I was walking and my leg started to give out on me and I’m thinking to myself see this is the melting point my leg is giving out on me because it’s tired and it’s telling me that it’s giving up on holding up my body weight. It’s going to go on strike and it will not longer participate in fighting gravity on my behalf. I’m sorry body but you are just to heavy and gravity has won this battle…BAM! Body meet your new friend floor, floor meet body where you will be staying until further notice.

I used to watch all those commercials with the old people lying on the floor and they would say “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” and you would think aww poor old people they are so fragile! How is it at 30-something years old I could be in one of those commercials? When did I become so fragile that I could be an actress in that commercial and lying on the floor telling the world I can’t get up and really mean it?

The issue would be the people watching at home would be like that chick is too young for this commercial! That can’t be right! Fire the casting director! These are supposed to be OLD people, she doesn’t even have grey hair! The issue is that I am clumsy enough for the commercial!

Pain medication

There was a really interesting discussion yesterday in one of my doctor’s offices between myself, another patient, the doctor and one of the techs, the topic at hand…opioid pain medication. So both the other patient and I have long histories of pain but neither of us are on opioid pain medications. I know that had I stayed on pain medications I probably would be addicted at this point. My first back surgery was September 2014 and my back still is not fused.

We talked about how we have created an epidemic because doctors in the past have been too quick to prescribe the opioid pain medications and not try other ways of pain management. There are other things to try for a lot of patients. Now there are patients who do need pain medication for longer term use, but those patients are few and far between. A lot of patients who are on opioid pain medication don’t need them for long term use.

I will ALSO say that just because a patient is on opioid pain medication does not make them an addict. There are plenty of patients who are under doctor’s care and they are taking the medication responsibly and there are no issues. I know patients who need the heavier pain medications and they have tried other methods of pain management to no avail.

HEAT

Heat + Asthma = sitting in the A/C wishing for better air quality outside…..so it’s summer and I’m usually good with summer until it gets to be the 90 degree days. 90 degree days is when my asthma goes STAY INSIDE!! So today is one of those days where my asthma is calling the shots. I am chilling inside goofing off with friends on the Internet trying to remember life before I was broken!

It’s hard to remember what it felt like before I was broken. I seriously don’t really remember that time, I think it might be like when parents don’t really remember what life was like before kids. You can reminisce but it’s not REALLY the same. I mean you tend to make it all rainbow and butterflies and think about how wonderful life was before children because you don’t think about anything bad. I mean why would you? You tend to think about your life without children when the children are drawing on the wall with marker covered in chocolate syrup and they need a diaper change. You don’t think about your life before kids when they are perfect! So thinking about life before I had SO MANY MEDICAL ISSUES is similar. However I find it hard to really remember what life was like because pain consumes me now. It’s hard to remember that I actually had a time in my life when I didn’t have pain running through the back of my head. When I didn’t have to think about every step I took, I didn’t have to think about is the handicap stall free in the bathroom? Will I be able to get those jeans on over my knee braces? How far can I physically walk before I need to sit and rest and will there be a chair/bench/resting spot? Which stores can I walk around in and which stores do I need a wheelchair for? Every outing I have a million pieces that I have thought about, and planned including do I need to bring my blood thinner with me? Am I going to be out late enough that I need to bring my blood thinner with me so I don’t miss a dose?

Most people my age do not have a mental check list when they want to leave the house I do out of necessity.  I have to make sure that I will have everything that I might need do to my disability. I did not think this would be my life at this age, but I know that I am meant for greatness.

 

Not dry in time….maybe….

So it’s summer and it’s HOT! What happens when you are hot? YOU SWEAT! Oh yeah it’s basic biology people! So now I am wearing neoprene braces on both legs so they sweat even more, which means they need to be washed regularly, makes sense. So last night I washed said neoprene braces. This morning I have a medical appointment which is pretty par for the course with the upcoming surgery and THEY AREN’T DRY…..ummm oops? You see what else happens when its summer and HOT like really HOT is we get random thunderstorms at night. I did not calculate this into my drying time NEEDS of said braces….

So the braces are currently laying on a towel in front of a fan hoping they dry out before I have to put the hinges back in and wear them or else I am going to have to put on wet braces which will be kind of gross….the one brace was almost dry this morning when I checked it the other one is heavier and NOT SO MUCH….. yeah…..I just imagine wet bathing suit feeling but on my knees…

So we’ll see when it’s time to bounce out of here if they are dry or not and I have learned a valuable lesson! There is some wise quote out there about experience being the best teacher or something like that… I guess now I have the experience of when its really hot outside and there are thunderstorms and I have a morning medical appointment I might want to re-think washing my braces the night before. However knowing me and knowing my memory problems you probably will see a similar blog about this same problem sometime in the future and you will think didn’t she already do this once before? And go back and look and then laugh and think didn’t she have déjá vu? The answer is probably NO just to clear that up now.

I will say that walking around this morning sans braces is odd and a bit scary because I have gotten so used to having them on first thing in the morning that my legs have almost forgotten how to walk around for long periods of time without them, which is odd since at physical therapy I don’t wear the braces. However I am home so I guess my brain knows that they should be on, so I feel out of sorts. My knees definitely feel naked!

$40 Chair

I had physical therapy yesterday which isn’t anything new. I have been going weekly for months now. We have been working on strengthening my legs, and the muscles surrounding my knees because my knees are crap! When I am in the office I don’t have my braces on, so I look really normal. I also don’t have my stimulator on so that I can feel if the exercises are bothering my knees/legs. If I have the stimulator program running then it is disrupting the pain signals coming from my low back and legs which is not helpful when I am doing physical therapy on my legs.

So I went to sit outside my doctor’s office and there was a gentleman waiting to speak to the doctor. He engaged me in conversation this way…

Him- “This chair will cost you $40”

Me- laughs “You are charging the WRONG patient! I haven’t worked in years and I’m disabled and possibly won’t work again!”

Him- slight confused look on his face “But I saw you walk over here, and you look like you walk just fine…”

Me- laughs “Well I am one of those looks are deceiving kind of people. Last year I was told by 3 medical doctors that I should be dead because I got a saddle pulmonary embolism after surgery. One doctor told me I should be on medical mysteries because he’s not sure how I survived it. I’ve had 3 surgeries in 2 years and I’m about to have another surgery in August to have my neck fused because it’s bone on bone.”

Him- “So the neck…I guess that’s painful…”

Me- “Very painful. I get migraines multiple times a week.”

Him- “Hmm I guess you have more going on than meets the eye.”

Me- “Yeah and I’m here for my knees!”

Him- “WHAT? You’re not even here for the neck?”

Me- “Nope…I am currently here because I have MCL sprains on both knees and I have no ACL in this knee.”

Him-“Okay I guess I won’t charge you $40 then……”

He gets up and walks off

The funny part about all this was I had just said to the tech that for everything that is wrong with me I do walk well. I mean seriously! I know that a lot of it is all the physical therapy, all the stretching that I do at home, I do work hard to be able to walk. Walk in a straight line I do not, but hey I can’t be perfect!

Now this guy was not trying to be mean, he was really trying to be funny, he just got more than he bargained for! Because if you look at me especially without the braces on you really have no idea. With 2 knee braces on you have some idea that I have some knee issues, but still that doesn’t clue you into the back. When I have to check in, I have 12 tabs on a normal basis because each part of my body that is injured/hurts is a tab. Sometimes I have more because if I have something extra that hurts I have to add it, but I have 12 tabs that I have to fill out info on a normal day. And I know you are thinking WOW!! Yeah, that’s my life with chronic pain and yes it goes from my ankle all the way up to my neck and both sides of the body, so it’s not so fun. I try to keep a good sense of humor because I need something to escape all this pain!

Knees are crap

So I went to the orthopedic and he basically told me that my knees are crap. I already knew that, but I got confirmation from the guy with the MD behind his name! I have to wear knee braces on both legs from now until FORRREVER!!! *Said in my best movie voice!* It’s good however. The braces keep my legs stable so that is good for my overall health. He wants me to keep up the physical therapy. Which I like the physical therapy.

I am hoping to strengthen my legs up and at least get to the point where I can then strengthen my back too. One step at a time. I have learned that you have to crawl before you can walk again! I was hoping to get rid of the knee braces, but now I have made peace with them and realized they are one with me! When you just accept them and realize that life is good, life is GOOD! I mean seriously life is good.

I am good, life is good. I am happy and working on living the best life I can.

Today I am in pain and I’m trying to distract myself anyways I can. My hips hurt which I know is from my knees, because my knees hurt all the time I tend to stand unevenly which then causes my hips to hurt. I try really hard to be conscious about how I stand, how I walk and how I move because everything matters. Of course I get hurt in the dumbest ways so we’ll see!