So we had over 4 inches of rain fall this month! CRAZY! I hope the gardens everywhere are SOAKING IT UP! I mean I want lots of fresh veggies at the local farmer’s markets, because someone should be benefiting from all this rain, rain and yeah MORE rain! The wifey planted a small garden for us and she has a few more plants to get in, but all this rain has made that a bit of a difficult task!
My knees have been rather swollen, I noticed last night they were about twice their normal size, they still have a nice click, click, click, if I was Dorthy I wouldn’t have to click my heels, my knees should do it! I could just close my eyes and bend my knees “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home!”
I really am over being sore. I had to turn the spinal cord stimulator off for a bit earlier to give my stomach muscles a break. I have had my stimulator turned up higher than normal because I am in more pain, so my stomach muscles can feel the buzzing which normally they don’t. So I can only take that for so long and then I have to give them a break.
I do like the stimulator and I am glad that I have it, if only it covered my WHOLE back I would really be in business! I mean my upper back and lower back I wouldn’t complain. Actually they are working on a wireless one that can be put in to do other regions and I do believe they will be able to do neurocord stimulator all over the body in the next few years. So who knows maybe in the next 10 years I will have the ability to have it over my whole back….
For now I am going to enjoy the coverage on my low back and legs. Try to cover up the really annoying nerve pain in my feet and enjoy life because life is too short!
So in addition to all the pain my face is red hot…or at least feels like it’s burning up. Now wifey seems to disagree with me on this, but I feel like my face is burning up, but I do agree that to the touch it does not feel as hot as I feel internally…if that makes sense. My temperature does not register this, it actually has been lower than normal. My cheeks have been redder than normal, so I think you can see it, but maybe it’s just me.
I am just finishing the antibiotics for the cyst that I have. My knees are not cooperating (I know what else is new on that front). My neck has really been bothering me, even more than normal I see the doctor in 2 weeks to schedule surgery. My back is bothering me and today I have a migraine. Oh yeah I am just loving life today!
My neighbor came over to chat and commented that I looked tired, and I know I do, I feel tired. I have been randomly falling asleep at the computer again, I will lose time which is always disconcerting. I think this is playing into my neck bothering me more than normal. I have found myself in odd angles which I’m sure isn’t healthy for my neck. I have checked my CPAP read outs every morning and most mornings they are decent and I’m sure that most sleep apnea patients would be pleased with mine, but something is just not right. I don’t know what is going on with me, but something is wrong.
I go in for thyroid re-check and potassium re-check tomorrow and maybe something in the blood work will help clue the doctors in. I am so tired of feeling crappy and hurting. I feel like I am losing a battle I didn’t sign up to fight. Of course that is the joy of having an autoimmune disease, you are literally battling yourself. Your body has decided to go to war with itself and destroy some piece of itself and you are stuck on both sides.
Yeah my knees are really bothering me no surprise. My back is bothering me no surprise. My neck is really bothering me no surprise. I am sitting on the couch with my feet up, spinal cord stimulator on, knees are taped because I was at physical therapy yesterday and hoping I can get some relief from the pain. Luckily because I have had several doctor appointments this week I have plenty of shows to catch up on! See looking at the positives!
I worked at physical therapy and I am hoping that we can get my knees stronger. I am getting frustrated because we seem to keep going back and forth between the two knees one gets a bit stronger and I sprain the other, etc. This sprain on the left is worse than they have been. I just want to give up, but I can’t! I know that I just need to keep wearing the braces, keep doing the physical therapy exercises and just see what happens in the next 8 weeks.
A positive attitude will get you a lot farther in life than a negative one. I think I need to start memorizing some new jokes however. I am starting to run out of them! I mean you can only tell the regular ones so many times before people know all the punchlines. I really do encourage everyone to keep a gratitude journal, and list 5 things that you are grateful for each day. Some days my list is harder to make than others, but I still do it because when you are focused on the good it’s easier to get through the day.
I sprained my knee….again…walking…on a flat surface. Yes that’s what I said. Yes, it was braced. I give up! Seriously walking slowly, with it braced on a flat surface I sprained it again, something snapped, and it HURTS. It hurts so bad that I lay down and close my yes I see pain. I can’t really describe what I see because it’s not like the color red. I mean if I told you I saw the color red, you could close your eyes and you would see the color red. Pain is a whole different ballgame! I can’t tell you to close your eyes and see pain because everyone is going to picture a different picture.
I’m having trouble sleeping tonight, it’s a combination of too much pain and too little tiredness or maybe too much tiredness…not sure! My knee hurts so bad, but I don’t want to sleep. My brain hurts it’s so tired but my body wants to stay awake because I know what is waiting for me when I lay down and close my eyes and I don’t want that. Pain just sucks ass. There is no way around it. We try all sorts of things to not have pain, to dull the pain, to get rid of the pain, but pain is just part of life unfortunately.
When you have any major joint issues excess poundage adds to those issues. I have been actively working on losing weight for the last 2 years. In 2014 I lost 34lbs and in 2015 I lost 50.6lbs. Yesterday I was recognized by my weight loss group for having the highest weight loss in my weight division for my state! How exciting is that?! Of course I have known about this for about a month and I had keep that information top secret! Mom took me shopping for a dress because for the awards ceremony we had to be dressed formally. I even wore tights which let me tell you was a feat! Mom helped me put them on because let’s be real..my back doesn’t work that way! But I looked stunning! I wore a long dress with a royal blue sweater, and my silver butterfly necklace that the wifey gave me for our first Valentine’s Day. I wanted her to be there with me in spirit.
After receiving this award they asked each of us to read a pre-prepared 250 word story on our weight loss journey. Staying true to myself I had a bit of humor in my story. I also told them about how 6 months ago they told me I should be dead. They had also asked for us to provide a before picture and when I told the audience my starting weight, there were a lot of wows. It didn’t surprise me because often people think I’m skinnier than I am. I remember the EMTs under guessing my weight by 50lbs and I corrected him because in an emergency situation 50lbs makes a BIG difference!
I am really proud of myself for taking the weight off through my health challenges. It has not been easy. I have hit some roadblocks at times, but I keep going and living life one day at a time. Getting up in front of several hundred people and being able to tell them yes I lost 50.6lbs last year even though I have all these health problems and I’m walking with a cane (I twisted my knee at dinner the night before…yeah even in the brace!) but you can do it too!
Friday night I was in the New You Parade and showed everyone how I have gone from a size 32 pant to a 22 pant size. Everyone was shocked. I have to say I was pretty shocked when I pulled the pants out of the closet after not paying attention to them for so long and held them up to me and saw the difference. I mean you don’t really think about it, but it’s been a BIG change. I am hoping to be back up on stage again next year to tell a different story, to inspire a new group because the more weight I take off the better I am feeling, it hasn’t solved my health problems, but it does make me feel better.
Mother Nature needs to stop all this COLD WEATHER!!! I mean this morning my right arm and elbow hurts. It’s hard when you have so many chronic pain issues, fibromyalgia, chronic pain syndrome, etc. I woke up this morning and my elbow hurt! I mean really?! I think it’s probably a combination of the cold weather and the fact that I push up using my arm because of my back. It’s the same thing with my hips being out of alignment because my knees are in braces, when they pop then my hip tends to get out of alignment. I also tend to lean to one side when my back hurts. I try really hard to keep good posture because I do know how important it is, but I am human after all!
I straightened my knee out and I heard a really loud POP! Ah the joys of having knee caps that don’t want to stay PUT! I really wish they would however. Is it too much to ask for my body parts to stay where they are supposed to stay? I mean I shouldn’t have to say to the knee cap stay knee cap, stay..good knee cap! The physical therapy is helping, I know that it will take time to get all the muscle groups to be strong enough to take over for the knee, but it’s all good. I am upright and that’s all that matters.
It’s a good day when you get out of bed and you are upright, people who have been confined to a bed understand this gift. People who have back problems and have been confined to a bed understand this gift even more! Being stuck in a hospital bed and told you can’t get up or you will die definitely not a highlight of my life. I almost want to make a top ten list of things I really wish I hadn’t heard from a doctor and You should be dead would be number 1 for sure. Still can’t figure out why the doctor didn’t brace us for that news! I mean seriously!
I really want some heated blankets today it’s cold, wifey opened the door to the house to leave and a gust of arctic wind hit her and she was breathless. She was not expecting it to be that cold in April. The weather just has not been that cooperative. I just want warmer weather in hopes that my joints won’t hurt as badly. I mean I get that they hurt, but right now they hurt so badly I want to disown all of them one by one!
My hamstrings are cussing at me…they do not like me and they remind me every time I stand up to do anything. I have the knee braces back on today, the physical therapy doc had me try a different KT Tape on Monday but I didn’t like it so I took it off last night. So double knee braces today! Which my hamstrings are cussing about that too! I have muscles that I did’t realize were there! Actually the funniest part in all this is my right thigh is numb, but I feel my hamstring! It is SCREAMING with pain! I am using ice packs and the heating pad alternating trying to relive some of the pain. It is odd to know your thigh is numb to the touch, but then to get feeling from the inside.
This morning wifey accidentally woke me up at 6am. She didn’t mean to! She rolled over and that’s all she wrote! I woke up and all my night sheep were GONE! They had left the bedroom, apparently all of hers were gone too hence why she was tossing and turning. I guess we need to talk to Serta..or is it Sealy? Which one has the sheep? Whoever it is I need more sheep at night! I felt bad because I got up, I was awake and when you wake me up then I’m awake awake. She felt bad for waking me up early, but it really wasn’t anything she did per se, she just flipped over. I just felt like it wasn’t going to help her get back to sleep with me tossing and turning when I knew I wouldn’t fall back to sleep.
I am using my spinal cord stimulator a lot right now because of the change in weather its been nice and warm during the day and COLD at night, the back and forth in the temperatures means my back HURTS! My neck hurts too, but unfortunately my stimulator doesn’t go that high. My allergies are also starting to kick into high gear now that spring has sprung.
I just hope my hamstrings have recovered by tomorrow or the physical therapist is going to have to do a lot less with me!