This morning I am stiff and sore and a bit grumpy! Normally I am chipper and happy and annoying! Today I want to put a sign up to tell everyone shop is closed. I just didn’t sleep last night. Every joint in my body hurts, my nerves in my legs have been bothering me more than they normally do which is annoying. I take medication to help, but it’s looking like that medication might need to be adjusted. I normally rather enjoy St. Patrick’s Day. Today it feels like any other day of the week. I didn’t even put on a green shirt, the wifey commented on my lack of enthusiasm for the day, I gave her a glare.
I do have a bit of green on my shirt for all those inquiring minds. This month has been hard. They think I might have frozen shoulder syndrome which means that my right shoulder has been particularly sensitive. I am also having problems with my hand falling asleep again which is equally annoying. When both of my arms would go totally numb I got used to having my arms and hands numb, but since the neck surgery I have rather enjoyed having feeling back in my hands. I am also noticing that I am increasingly having problems opening jars, medication bottles, etc which I am not sure if that is due to the frozen shoulder or something else. I have an evaluation next week and I am going to ask the person doing the eval if they are related or something else.
I am trying to keep my head up and enjoying the ride, but this has just been a hard month. I have had 2 deaths in the family and I think that is taking it’s toll on me emotionally. I am emotionally exhausted at this point . We all know that when you are drained emotionally, physically it can make you a bit grumpy. That being said I am trying to take a step back and remembering all those self-care tips and not over tax myself.
I think that is one thing I have learned from all of this. Do not try to play Superwoman, because you will never be Superwoman again. I physically cannot play the part. I do not have to play the part, and no one expects me to play the part. I need to recognize my own limitations and just breathe.
Recovery is like a cha-cha you take lots of steps forward and then you go back. So I had been making progress with my neck. The imaging actually looked so well that I don’t need any more imaging on my neck right now. It’s healing properly! It’s fusing the way it’s supposed to, which is such a blessing! I was so glad to hear that after all the headaches with my back (more on that in a minute). I have had so much radiation from x-rays, cat scans and MRIs over the last 4-6 years that the doctors are getting concerned because I am young. So the neurosurgeon in January decided to only do a cat scan of my back, that my neck looked stable.
So we did a cat scan of my back and this time there is enough bone growth to consider me stable. It still has not fully fused (which is highly frustrating, but I’ll take what I can get) but there is enough bone growth that I am out of the woods finally. The hardware is stable, and they don’t feel like it will break off. There is some peace about that. When people talk about metal fatigue and how it could break and puncture you, it is a little disconcerting. However with my history I figure that’s the least of my concerns!
So the real problem I am having is with my shoulder. I think that when both of my arms were totally numb I possibly tore my rotator cuff. I didn’t know any better because I had no feeling and now that I have feeling back, it has been bothering me since about October last year. We have also been doing physical therapy on it since October last year. I will get better for a bit and then it gets worse again. So this past week it has gotten a lot worse for no apparent reason and I finally have broken down and made an appointment with the orthopedic doctor.
The neurosurgeon doctor and the physical therapy doctor both agree it’s time to see the orthopedic doctor about my shoulder. So we will see what he says, of course I could be wrong and it could be something totally different. I just want to get to the bottom of it and find out so we can fix it. I just hope I don’t have to have surgery, but this having surgery every year is getting VERY OLD! I stopped wishing for no surgeries because I have learned that is just asking for a surgery to happen, so I am just going to go with the flow and see what happens. All is well no matter what!