I’ve been working on losing weight for the last 2 years and I’ve lost 120lbs. I have done it through all the surgeries, the blood clot the exercise limitations, etc. I still will eat fries, I still eat dessert, but I eat things in moderation. I think realizing that you can eat healthy and still have your fries, chips, chocolate cake or ice cream is what keeps you going. I am hoping to be at my goal weight by the end of 2018 (who knows maybe I’ll get there sooner!) The stronger I become the faster I may be able to lose the weight, we’ll see. Right now I take life one day at a time. I live life one day at a time.
Today I went shopping for a few long sleeved items and we were hoping to find a couple pairs of workout pants for physical therapy, and I tried on a smaller size in jeans. They fit and I didn’t even have to suck my tummy in before buttoning them! Actually I looked in the mirror and grinned at how well they fit! I am getting there slowly but surely. Over the weekend multiple people kept commenting on my weight loss and I thanked them. It feels nice to have people notice.
It also feels nice to be going down clothing sizes as rapidly as I am right now. Of course it doesn’t feel so nice for my Mom’s wallet! Of course we are only getting a few items in each size because every time she turns around I am in the next size down, which she’s not complaining about. We just know that it doesn’t make sense to buy a bunch of clothes in a single size until I am at my goal weight. Then we’ll buy more than a few shirts and a few pairs of pants.
Same ole story my back STILL hasn’t fused and no one knows why! I am going to have a CT scan done at the end of the month to figure out how much bone has grown, but for a fusion that should have completed in 6 months and it’s been 24 months (almost 25 months) to say I’m disappointed would be a little bit of an understatement. I think the best part now is that we have to watch for metal fatigue…yes that means we have to watch to make sure the metal that was implanted last year doesn’t break. Oh joy! As if I don’t have enough on my plate let me worry about if they are going to need a soldering iron too….
I will be seeing the hematologist soon and two things will happen at that appointment a) we will discuss removal of the IVC filter because everyone is pretty confident I am not going to have some massive deadly blood clot and b) genetic testing to see which genetic clotting disorder I possibly have. Which I am almost coming up to my 1 year anniversary of my first massive deadly all the doctors told me I should be 6 feet in the ground date so the fact that I’m still walking and talking is a HUGE plus! I mean I rather enjoy being a pain in everyone’s BUTT! I said that to one of my doctor’s recently and all he could do was laugh and shake his head. No other response but laughter….I think that’s a good sign…right?
Everyone is happy I survived especially me! Last night someone called me by my deceased sister’s name and I corrected them. They looked at me and apologized and I was teasing them about that if I was her we would really have a problem because I know it’s getting close to Halloween…but we’re not THAT close yet! Then I said if they wanted to go pay her a visit she has a lovely view of the river! The person laughed and said it was good to know I hadn’t lost my sense of humor (they had not seen me recently, and knew I had been having some serious medical issues).
I still think we need to start a betting pool on if my neck is going to fuse before my back! I mean the back has a 2 year lead on my neck, but at the rate it is going, my neck might actually fuse first! We could do a 50/50 split and the other 50 could go towards my medical bills! (I am of course just kidding!) It will be interesting to see which heals first my neck or my back, in some ways I think my neck will heal first because I am skinnier, and I think my overall health is better right now. Sure I am on the blood thinners, but I think the difference in the weight will make a huge difference in the outcome (as much as I hate to say it).
Which speaking of weight yesterday I put on a women’s XL shirt for the first time in years, and I was super excited. I am really working hard at taking off the excess pounds slowly and healthy. I am seeing the improvements, and I also know from doing all the physical therapy that I am also building up the muscle mass as well so I am not just losing the weight I am also building up muscle which will be important for the long term!
Why be normal? I mean normal is overrated right? This week has been a lot of crazy feelings and wanting to jump through the phone. There has been a lot of turmoil from one person not doing what they said they were going to do 3 weeks ago and it blew up in my face this week. So I spent the majority of this week scrambling to try and get it fixed.
Of course on the upside of my week Mom took me clothes shopping last week and I got to wear shirts that actually fit and that made me feel good. I have been losing so much weight that the clothes that I currently own are getting bigger and bigger on me. Mom told me it was time to get some shirts that fit so we can start donating the biggest clothes again. I had already dumped my closet of one size and soon I will be ready to do another dump. I am down about 120lbs. I am feeling proud of my accomplishment. I am over halfway to my goal weight that was recently given to me by my doctor.
I just wish my pain levels would go down, even a little! That first year the stupid doctor who will not be named blamed my weight for my pain, well guess what doc? I’m a lot lighter and I am still in pain. It’s also fall which means the temperatures are going to start dropping and while I welcome the cooler temperatures I remember how my hardware didn’t like the cold last year!
I am working hard in physical therapy to build up my muscles as I continue to lose the weight so I know that I have a healthy body. I am eating healthier, drinking lots of water and taking care of me. Next month we are going to look into doing the genetic testing for blood clots and hopefully find out if I have a genetic disposition for blood clots which several of my doctors and myself believe I do. While that’s not the best thing in the world I would rather know for sure than guess. Having a massive blood clot was one of the scariest moments in my life and I just want to know if that could happen again. Of course just because I have a disorder doesn’t mean it would happen again, it just means there is the possibility. Also knowing we can take different precautions so the likelihood of a repeat is less.
When you have so many major medical problems its about knowledge and prevention. You come to understand that things in life are uncertain and you do your best to prevent what you know could happen. You don’t stop living your life, you just make subtle changes to try and prevent things. I stopped eating high vitamin K foods while I’m on the blood thinners because it makes life easier right now. Once I’m off blood thinners I probably will be more aware of how I eat high vitamin K foods knowing they thicken the blood.
Life is short. This morning we were laughing and giggle and I was thinking about how 3 years ago we were getting ready to be married. Now wifey is stuck with me and has stood by my side through all this stuff. She’s a good egg. I’m blessed. We have a good life. It’s crazy, it’s silly and it’s full of laughs.
I am officially down 100lbs right now and I really can’t believe it. I have been working really hard and slow and steady I have been losing weight slow and steady. It has not been easy with all the other health issues. If you had told me 2 years ago that I would be able to lose this much weight I would have doubled over laughing in your face! I would not have believe it..AT ALL! Of course if you had told me about the myriad of health issues I think I would have raised an eyebrow too, but that’s another story! I mean not many people get a second chance at life.
So I had told myself I was going to get down by the end of June, and I did it! I was about ready to jump up and down on the scale. Which I don’t suggest because a) it’s bad for the scale and b) I can’t because of my knees! I was so happy. I want to continue to lose the weight a little at a time because I know it will be better for my overall health. Going into this next surgery I know being at least 30lbs lighter is going to be a lot better for me. I’m hoping to be 40lbs lighter, we will see!
I am really, really close to losing 100lbs as in 3lbs away close. I’m so close I can taste it! Which tasting things is what added the 100lbs in the first place! I am trying to lose 10lbs before my next surgery and I am well on my way to reaching that goal to yay! I am really close to meeting my 100lbs lost goal so yay to that! So now the trick is how am I going to reward myself when I hit 100lbs lost? Obviously not a food reward!
A friend asked me what my weight loss has averaged per month so I figured it out and I average 3.5lbs/month which is a good steady loss because that is about a pound a week. My doctors like a slow steady loss because I am more apt to keep it off if it comes off slow and steady. Of course being impatient I would like it to come of a bit faster than that, BUT I know that slow and steady is healthier for me in the long term and if in just over 2 years I’ve lost 100lbs well that’s nothing to sneeze at!
I really like being able to wear smaller clothes again! I have been putting on t-shirts that I haven’t been able to wear for years! I only kept them because they had sentimental value and now they fit again. I had 2 bags of clothes that went to donation over the weekend because they were way to big for me! Cleaning out the closet felt really good! Now to keep up the pace and not get side tracked after surgery!
When you have any major joint issues excess poundage adds to those issues. I have been actively working on losing weight for the last 2 years. In 2014 I lost 34lbs and in 2015 I lost 50.6lbs. Yesterday I was recognized by my weight loss group for having the highest weight loss in my weight division for my state! How exciting is that?! Of course I have known about this for about a month and I had keep that information top secret! Mom took me shopping for a dress because for the awards ceremony we had to be dressed formally. I even wore tights which let me tell you was a feat! Mom helped me put them on because let’s be real..my back doesn’t work that way! But I looked stunning! I wore a long dress with a royal blue sweater, and my silver butterfly necklace that the wifey gave me for our first Valentine’s Day. I wanted her to be there with me in spirit.
After receiving this award they asked each of us to read a pre-prepared 250 word story on our weight loss journey. Staying true to myself I had a bit of humor in my story. I also told them about how 6 months ago they told me I should be dead. They had also asked for us to provide a before picture and when I told the audience my starting weight, there were a lot of wows. It didn’t surprise me because often people think I’m skinnier than I am. I remember the EMTs under guessing my weight by 50lbs and I corrected him because in an emergency situation 50lbs makes a BIG difference!
I am really proud of myself for taking the weight off through my health challenges. It has not been easy. I have hit some roadblocks at times, but I keep going and living life one day at a time. Getting up in front of several hundred people and being able to tell them yes I lost 50.6lbs last year even though I have all these health problems and I’m walking with a cane (I twisted my knee at dinner the night before…yeah even in the brace!) but you can do it too!
Friday night I was in the New You Parade and showed everyone how I have gone from a size 32 pant to a 22 pant size. Everyone was shocked. I have to say I was pretty shocked when I pulled the pants out of the closet after not paying attention to them for so long and held them up to me and saw the difference. I mean you don’t really think about it, but it’s been a BIG change. I am hoping to be back up on stage again next year to tell a different story, to inspire a new group because the more weight I take off the better I am feeling, it hasn’t solved my health problems, but it does make me feel better.
So I was reading the weekly e-mail for the spiritual community I belong to and I came across the announcement for the open mic night happening on Saturday. There was a picture of me and I think it was when I read a poem I wrote, but I could have been singing, I did both at said open mic nights. The thing is I haven’t been to an open mic night in a long time! So long in fact that the shirt that I am wearing in said picture I had to donate because it was too big for me now and I swim in it! So I see this picture of myself and I think WOW that’s an old picture I don’t even fit in that shirt anymore, but I love that shirt, I miss that shirt!!
It was one of the hardest shirts to give up which was funny because up until that shirt I had given away a lot of of my clothes without batting an eye. I had put piece after piece in bags to donate to charity or give away to people I knew who could wear them and had no real attachment to the item until I got to this particular shirt. It was like I had to give up my child and you were only going to pry it out of my dead hands! I kept trying to figure out why this shirt, why did I have such an attachment to this one particular shirt. The shirt had been bought for me by my Mom as a birthday present but my Mom has bought me lots of clothes over the years as different gifts, she had actually bought me a couple different pieces of clothes for that same birthday and I had given the other items away, but that blue shirt I couldn’t seem to give away. I did finally put it in a bag for a friend. I figured if I had loved it so much I should give it to a friend verses a bag for charity where it would just go to some stranger. A friend I knew would take care of my shirt!
I need to go through my clothes again to get rid of anything that is too big, as I continue to lose weight I try to weed out the clothes that are too big on me, I don’t mind wearing clothes that are a little baggy on me, but some items are too baggy and I’ve been working really hard to lose the weight. I don’t want to hide behind clothes that are too baggy. I know that losing weight is really important with the upcoming surgery, with the newly diagnosed thyroid condition, and with my knees. I know that if I can get down to a healthier weight it will just be better for me overall. I mean I’ve lost 90lbs and I feel so much better already! I am really excited at working towards losing those last 10lbs to get to 100lbs lost. I am going to have to do something nice for myself when I hit 100lbs lost. So if you have any ideas comment for me.
So when you get your spine pulled apart and pushed back together you get used to getting images done. I’m getting quite a collection of low back x-rays, actually I think all the x-ray technicians know me by name now. Last time I had to go get x-rays I saw one of the pre-operation nurses who I tease about that “You’re NOT my friend.” Now understand that this is said very tongue and cheek because Chris the first time I met him made me cry, he was trying to draw blood from me and when he finally got it from my wrist (which is very painful fyi) I cried. So the next time I saw him I told him he wasn’t my friend anymore, so I saw him teased him gave him a high five and told him how I almost died in October. He was very glad to see that I am still standing.
I am very glad to report that so far I have no had anyone who was upset to see me still standing. I’m not sure what I would do if I came across someone who said “Man I wish the blood clot had won!” I probably would kick them in the nuts. Wait, why did I just assume they were male….hmmm maybe because a female would have a better filter and say it behind my back! HAHAHA
So today I told the spine doc’s PA that I am getting tingling in my arms and hands and so the spine doc is ordering a full spine CT scan. So I can add that to the list so I have a low spine MRI, plus more x-rays than I can count, oh yeah he wants repeat x-rays too! (Still watching the bone not growing). So we get to do a spine CT in January with those x-rays. YAY!
One day I am going to print out all my imagining just so I can make a life size imagine of myself with my images, I’m pretty sure I could do it too! It was a good day today, I’m tired and ready for bed, trying to decide if I go to bed, or wait up for the wifey who is finishing up the last of the Christmas shopping. I can’t believe Christmas is 3 days away! Where did all the time go? 2016 will be here soon and we can put 2015 to bed with all those other years. We’ll say nighty night and all that good stuff, kiss someone when the ball drops and scream HAPPY NEW YEAR and make a bunch of noise! Then we’ll all look at each other and go okay back to the gym to lose all this weight work really hard for a few weeks until we forget again and fall back into old habits. Actually this year I have lost 50lbs and I’m happy. I was hoping to lose more than that but there was that little blood clot and it slowed me down a bit, but slow and steady wins the race and when you think about that there is 52 weeks in the year and I lost 50lbs that means I lost about 1lb a week, that’s not bad at all!
Maybe another Twinkie?? Actually never been a big fan of Twinkies and that was even before they disappeared and made their comeback. So one of the thing overweight chronic pain patients hear over and over again is if you lose weight you will solve a lot of your problems. I actually had a doctor tell me in the very beginning before my first spinal surgery well if I was your doctor I would never do surgery on you because you are too overweight…umm thanks for your unsolicited opinion. I know I am overweight I can see it, I’m not blind. For me a lot of it was a combination of emotional eating and then being hurt and being less active didn’t help and before I knew it I was almost 400lbs. Yup, I know.
So I found this amazing food plan called Full Plate via my Mom and I have been really successful using it. I have been so successful using it that they actually did a blog post about my success that you can read here. That was posted in August and right now I’ve actually lost about 82lbs. I’ve lost about 50lbs this year alone, which I was hoping to have lost a bit more than that this year, but this saddle pulmonary embolism has slowed my roll down.
So I’ve been working on eating better and I’ve lost a small human at this point and my health has gotten worse not better…umm what??!!! Is this just more evidence that my body really just hates me? Or is this just punishment that 2013 was a really crappy year and I made bad choices and I let my weight get out of control and I have to continue to pay for those consequences? Maybe its a combination of all of the above? As winter may or may not get here, it has been unseasonably warm which because I have severe arthritis in both knees I’m not really upset about it, I know my knees are going to be cracking more, because they are already cracking. My ankle is cracking. I see my pain management doctor on Tuesday about my knees and now my ankle.
I know that I do feel better with the 80lbs gone don’t get me wrong. I do however think its funny (not in the haha sense, but you get my drift) that my health problems are a lot worse, I mean I almost died! When I dropped 80lbs and I’ve done it since March 2014 so this isn’t like I did it over a short period of time, I’ve done it slow and steady like you are supposed to. I do really like this plan I am on, I do encourage anyone who is having trouble with their weight to look at it because in my opinion its easy to follow. I can eat whatever I want, even on the coumadin I have been able to continue following the program, I’ve had to tweak what I eat, but I’m still on it, still losing weight. You can customize it to fit any dietary needs you may have which I love and the possibilities are endless PLUS NOTHING is forbidden! I hate when they say you have to give up this or that, or this food is bad for you, I can’t find success when you tell me don’t eat carbs, or don’t eat diary or blah blah blah because what do I start craving? Whatever you just told me NOT to eat! So if you want more information on Full Plate please visit their website here.
Don’t let the lack of ring on my left hand fool you, I am HAPPILY married. If you ask why I am currently ringless I will happily tell you why, I have lost about 82lbs since we got married in 2013 and my wedding ring does not fit, in fact about a week and a half ago I went into my purse to pull something out and it slipped off my finger into my purse. I realized that my ring size which we knew is now 2 sizes smaller combined with the colder temperatures made for a situation where my ring could easily fall off my finger. I chose to leave my wedding ring in my purse until we got home to put it safely in my jewelry box.
Now about 2 weeks ago, maybe even 3 weeks ago my wife and I went and had my finger sized because we knew this day was coming. My wife is actually planning on buying me a replacement wedding ring for Christmas (I know the secret is out, but this is the one gift I asked for because I knew I needed a new one). So yes sir who is hitting on me in the grocery store I am happily married and oh by the way to a woman… SURPRISE!
I was riding on an electric shopping cart because of my back and I was with my Mom, and I did get hit on. This gentleman was teasing me because he and I kept crossing paths, and he noticed I did not have a ring on my finger and he asked what I was doing next. I laughed and said I was going home to cook my wife dinner, boy was he surprised! I of course smiled sweetly, I mean gotta let the guy down gently and all.
You might be surprised how many times I get asked if I am happily married, as if the fact that I am married is not enough to get a guy to back down. So of course I answer yes and I say very happily married to my wife, and sometimes they back of and sometimes they don’t just depends on the guy.